Humorous short message

Humorous SMS 1, what brings you bad luck every day? Scan the stars? I don't care about you every day? Meteor? Chasing you every day, right? Stars? . In fact, I am your favorite beacon in the night sky-the Big Dipper!

Women's Day has just passed, and April Fool's Day is coming. Sad reminder: He turned you into a woman on Valentine's Day? After Women's Day, it will be April Fool's Day. When you become a woman, you find yourself cheated? After April Fool's Day, it's Labor Day, and it's too late to find out that you've been cheated, so you can only let him be a cow and a horse? Is Children's Day after Labor Day? Damn it, give him a child!

3. One day, classmate A went to the office to talk to the teacher. After a while, she came back and said to her classmate B. This is a waste of time. There is no one in the office, only two teachers. ? Classmate B thought: Oh. So teachers are not people.

Recently, the weather is like the face of a girl in love. Like the face of a lovelorn girl, cold; Like a girl's face when she breaks up, gloomy. Therefore, love depends on the face, go out to see the sky, friendship depends on the color, I wish you a colorful life!

5. Fighting for five days a week, the physical strength value approaches zero, the brain power approaches zero, the dexterity gradually disappears, and the agility gradually weakens. Charge your battery quickly. Let's spend a happy weekend together!

6. In summer, I invited small animals to start a journey of love. The bee nurse gives you a problem vaccine, Miss Mosquito gives you a red envelope, and Prince Frog is born for you. SMS blessing received, please reply loudly: received! Got it!

7. Something bad happened. I was followed by the police because I kidnapped a man named? Blessing? People. I want to give him to you. If the police catch me, I won't give you up. Don't worry, what's the hurry? Blessing? Put it away!

8. Become a workaholic, work hard to shine, be stubborn and tough like that? King Kong? The boss will certainly appreciate your professionalism, but we must pay attention to our own health, learning from each other's strengths is the best way to work!

9. Assembly number: Please pay attention to media friends. In line with the principle of if you are the one, please report to your most sincere friends. This banquet is not closed, and the whole article is written in gold! The TV stations that sponsor and support the live broadcast include: Hee Hee Kick, Tripping TV, Sister Country Voice, Peanut Stewed Oil Explosion and other global heavyweight media. Thank you for this!

10, when Tang Priest came back from the Buddhist scriptures, the media came to interview him one after another and asked him: How do you keep calm in front of many beautiful women? Tang Priest smiled helplessly: No way. Facing the national audience of billions, I have neither courage nor heart!

1 1, parrot's grievance: if you don't learn from others, you won't have food; Toad's ideal: when I get rich, I will eat swan meat every day; Snail's lament: it is really difficult to have a house of your own these days; The secret of hen: it is not good to lay eggs alone, but also to bark; The wolf was angry: who do I like to provoke so much? Tiger transformation: Who dares to touch my ass? Don't want to live! What? Do you pay? That's more like it!

12, this message is not very good, it is to set off your beauty; Although the writing is not good, every word is full of affection; Although the sender of the short message is not so good, the receiver is unique! I wish you happiness, this is the main purpose!

13, I was halfway through dinner with my new girlfriend last night, and suddenly I found that I forgot my wallet. After thinking about it, I have no choice but to say to my girlfriend: I then she blushed and said: I like you, too?

14, practice crossing the boat for a hundred years, and practice sleeping together for a thousand years. We are destined to know each other and love each other, not to mention a thousand years, but at least 800 years! You give up easily after so long? We are not turtles, we can live for tens of thousands of years!

15, if you are a little pig, I would like to be spoiled as pig grass; If you are a green grass, I would like to treat you as a flower; You are my most important old friend. All the best, Pepsi.

16, by chance, I told the god of wealth your mobile phone number; Once, the god of wealth told it to the god of luck; A party, the gods of the whole universe know you; Now the gods inform you by SMS: Good luck every day!

17, hot season, I would like to be a blacksmith, and your friendship can strike while the iron is hot; I want to be a robber, and I want to deprive you of happiness. I want to be a princess. For your coolness, I want to dance wildly with a banana fan.

18, no pain, no money, new plastic surgery will make you smile. 1, big eyes: Take some money and put it on your eyes three times a day to keep your eyes bigger than those in Zhao Wei. What is this? Seeing money? Law. 2, breast enhancement: smile every day to ensure that you cover your chest, this is? Cheer up? Law; 3, lose weight: do not eat ginger, keep slim, this is? Ten thousand years thin without ginger? Law. This kind of plastic surgery is genetically modified, and even the next generation can benefit.

19, SMS, flying around, I hope you receive a smile; Small messages, Didi reminders, convey the beauty of care. Hot weather, endless farming, and hard sweat, happiness is worth remembering!

20. Your characteristics: Like pearls, large and small, falling in a plate of jade on your face, the height is different from a distance, and it is uneven at close range, with two cakes in your eyes; A unkempt young boy looks like a fool; Your style: confident brothers and Xifeng Group.

2 1, I said I don't want it, but you have to, and I said you'll be fine if you are careful. Now, look at the red liquid on the ground But you're just glad: fortunately, you didn't hurt the child. Hum, how could five watermelons not hit that child?

22. Insects that snore like thunder sound like ears; Great things and small things are happy, and everything is concerned; Peace of mind and peace of mind, happy every day; Sunny and rainy days, happy every day!

23, hot summer, buy an air conditioner to send you, it is too expensive! Move a snow-capped mountain for you, no! Invite you to eat a meal in the sea, it will hurt your stomach! Please take a trip, afraid of being tired; Send you a rose, misunderstanding! I have to send a message to bless you. It's affordable!

24. It's convenient for the coach to stop halfway. The driver told everyone to get off the bus and pee, and said that they would not stop halfway. At first, everyone was embarrassed. Nobody got off the bus. The driver is in a hurry. He said he was getting off the bus, and everyone peed. Whoever pees is shameless!

25, a short message, don't underestimate, the magic has been applied, and the spell is hard to disappear: open, happy; Reading, worrying, running; Smile, happiness and firmness; Forward, beautiful. Good luck!

26. The fish said: I have been keeping my eyes open in order to leave your side. ? The water said:? I tirelessly surround you all day and hold you tightly. ? The pot said:? It's almost fucking ripe, and there's so much nonsense. ?

27. I had a dream last night. An angel wants to send you eternal happiness and happiness in your dream, but you sleep like a pig and don't let the angel enter your dream! The angel had to let me give it to you! Did you get it?

Teacher: Why did you pour a basin of water on Xiao Qiang's head? Xiao Ming: He dripped water on my head before wringing out his clothes. Teacher: Is it worth it to get back at him like this? My father said that a drop of water is a reward when spring comes!

29. Give you a Saqima, and happiness will target you; Give you a piece of soft bread and your troubles will disappear; Give you a glass of orange granules, knock on the door happily every day and give you a glass of wine. Good luck will be your watchdog!

30. My daughter pestered her father to tell a story, but he couldn't ask: Do you want to hear a long story or a short story? Daughter said it was long. Dad said: Once upon a time, there was a mosquito buzzing. My daughter said quickly, I want to hear a short story. My father said that my father was killed.

3 1, people who often send er are people who don't know what to say; People who often send messages are people who feel that there is nothing to say; People who complain often are people who don't want to talk about complaining. People who often send you text messages are people who often miss you!

32. Considering that you are strong, kind-hearted, optimistic, enterprising, just and peace-loving. You have been specially appointed as the latest Transformers leader of Cybertron. May you defend peace, happiness and happiness.

33. I heard that you have insomnia and dreaminess recently. I know it's all about money. In order to let you sleep well, the best way is to let me keep your savings. Please let me help you suffer!

Looking forward to cool weather in hot summer, I was in a state of confusion and had a long dream. It's almost the same every year, but it doesn't work in summer. The sun is shining, my eyes are blurred and I can't see clearly. I sweat a thousand times. Mosquitoes are crazy at night, flapping and getting hurt. In the early morning, Hong Bao was still lying in bed. By the end of the morning, it was dark and busy. Summer is very hot, I hope my greetings can bring you coolness and make you feel happy and relaxed!

35, I can fly, I will take you to space; I can do magic, and I will make you forget your troubles; I will print money, I will make you a rich man; If I know martial arts, I will knock out your front teeth; Who told you not to invite me to dinner? Ha ha!

36. You keep a low profile, live a simple life, have a simple mind, and can't talk glibly. You are a rare honest man. It's a good thing I didn't fall in love with my mother, otherwise I would. . . How terrible it is for me to fall in love with such a boring person!

37. A Dai is depressed. A friend asked him: Are you lovelorn? A Dai: No, I'm in love. Friend: Then you should be happy. A Dai: I love swimming so much. She pushed me down and ran away!

38. A restraining order forbids you to think of me when you are free; Prohibition of getting rich without me; Don't call me if there is something delicious; Don't tell me if you find something interesting; Don't send me interesting information; Every day is not unhappy!

39. Spring Festival travel rush rushed to take the train: 1 Make preparations before buying tickets and fight a long-term battle; 2 when you get on the bus, put your luggage on your head and move forward bravely; Take off your shoes immediately after sitting down, so that the smell can be shared; 4 Check whether the shoes are towed away after the cart.

40. The temperature drops and the weather is cold. I kindly remind you: don't wear thick clothes if you want to be handsome, and don't be afraid of freezing if you want to be beautiful. Even if you catch a cold, you are a hero who really loves beauty. Handsome with a cold, beautiful with a runny nose is the most beautiful scenery!

4 1, knowing you, I am no longer sad. When I am sad, I want to tell you. When I am in pain, I want to be hugged by you. You make me feel that my life has a direction and my struggle has a goal. I must work hard to make money and buy this room!

42. son:? Dad, what is capital and what is a working father? The thing is: if I borrow 100 yuan from my neighbor's house, I will have capital. If he wants money back from me, he must work for me. ?

43. In the composition class, the teacher commented on the idiot's composition, and the idiot complained softly. Bullshit! ? The teacher seemed to hear it and said angrily, what did you say? Fuck! ? Dumb:? What I said is incisive enough! ?

44. If you throw away your mobile phone after receiving the message, you will be angry if you press it again. Don't blame me for reminding you. If you press it again, you will be too persistent and advise you not to listen. The message will be pressed to the end. Actually, I'm looking for an idiot. I won't look back until I hit the south wall. Hey, I found another one.

45. Give you a sun for fear of roasting you, give you a river for fear that you can't swim, and give you a Manchu banquet for fear that you can't digest it. Invite you to travel to Egypt in case you get lost, and give it to your girlfriend in case you are accused of human trafficking. I finally decided to send you a message. My information is very special. After reading you, your back is sore, your back doesn't hurt, you walk in high spirits, and your laughter is high!

46. When I turn on the thunder, I care about unlimited traffic and wish you super-fast speed. I have downloaded a lifetime of health, happiness, happiness, good luck and peace for you. Contact me and send it to you when you have time!

47. The boss asked Xiaohua: What are you doing these two days? ! ? Xiaohua said: I fell from the balcony on the third floor. ? The boss said angrily. Bullshit! It takes two days to fall from the third floor.

48. Fat girls, like the moon in the Mid-Autumn Festival, are emotional; Thin girls, like the first quarter moon, are skinny; The calf is as thin as a crane's leg and sexy; The thighs are as thick as elephant legs, which is a sense of security. Women never lack beauty, what they lack is self-confidence, sister, please go ahead boldly!

49. Since you were hit on the waist by youth, I wish you: hit on the head by happiness, trampled by happiness, searched by health, and kicked around by good luck. I am a good friend!

I visited the art exhibition yesterday. To tell you the truth, the only thing I can see is your painting! Thank you very much What about other painters' paintings? A: I didn't read it at all! There are people in front of those paintings, so they can't squeeze in!