Let's tell another joke.

1

Leo: Hello!

Gangster: You have three days to release the money. ...

Leo: Shut up! I tell you, you have two hours to put my family in the trash can on the left side of X Street in the western suburbs, or I will kill your family! ! ! (It seems to be ... it's the other way around)

2

Aquarius: Who are you looking for?

Gangster: You have three days to put the money in the trash can on the left side of X Street in the western suburbs, or I will kill your family! ! !

(After putting down the phone, Aquarius immediately called the police, which is really the most calm constellation)

three

Virgo: Hello!

Gangster: I ... give you three days to put the money in the trash can on the left of X Street in the western suburbs, otherwise. ...

Virgo: Oh, great! Put my brother on the phone! Brother! Did you eat vegetables for dinner? Have you eaten more than 200 grams of meat? Wash your feet and nails after dinner! ! !

The gangster by the phone is already sweating. )

four

Pisces (tearful): Who are you looking for?

Gangster: You are allowed to put your money in the trash can on the left side of X Street in the western suburbs within three days. ...

Pisces: Wow … Dad … Mom … Wow … Wow …

Gangster (also want to cry): Don't cry, uncle will buy you candy!

Pisces: Wow … I want my mother … I want my father … Wow …

Gangster (gritting his teeth and stamping his feet): Come on, I can't let your family go!

five

Aries: Hello!

Gangster: You are allowed to put your money in the trash can on the left side of X Street in the western suburbs within three days. ...

Aries: Western suburb? Let's go to the eastern suburbs! There @&; (_)(* % $ & amp； % $ & amp^%##! @#! @%$~! @#

The gangster has packed his bags for the eastern suburbs. )

six

Cancer: Hello. ...

Gangster: You are allowed to put your money in the trash can on the left side of X Street in the western suburbs within three days. ...

Cancer: I'll discuss it with my father!

Gangster: I have your father!

Cancer: Then I'll discuss it with my mother!

Gangster: I still have your mother!

Cancer: I will discuss with my grandpa (grandma, uncle, aunt, brother, sister, uncle, grandma, grandpa)!

Gangster: I have both!

Cancer: Me and ...

(no? Only cancer is left in the family)

seven

Taurus: Hello!

Gangster: Gangster: You are allowed to put the money in the trash can on the left side of X Street in the western suburbs within three days. ...

Taurus: OK, OK! Don't worry! I will arrive on time! You can't hurt my dog, it is a very important member of my family. ...

Niu Niu, who loves her family, is so stupid and cute, but that gangster is so stupid.

eight

Gemini: Hello! can you ...

Gangster: You are allowed to put your money in the trash can on the left side of X Street in the western suburbs within three days. ...

Gemini: But why should I listen to you? Don't you know it's not easy for me to make money? I started school at the age of six. I didn't find a job until I was 20 years old. I have to pass the probation period before I can make money. ...

(Please, the other party has hung up. )

nine

Libra: Hi!

Gangster: You are allowed to put your money in the trash can on the left side of X Street in the western suburbs within three days. ...

Libra: I don't believe that's your nature. You must be in trouble, right? Poor thing! But don't lose faith in life! Be Big! I have 500 yuan here. You can use it first. ...

(The gangster has already been moved to tears. )

10

Scorpio: Go ahead!

Gangster: You are allowed to put your money in the trash can on the left side of X Street in the western suburbs within three days. ...

Scorpio: Well, all right! All right!

The next day, as soon as the gangster opened the trash can, he found a policeman inside, behind him was a row of police cars, and Scorpio waved to him not far away with his family.

1 1

Sagittarius: Hello!

Gangster: You are allowed to put your money in the trash can on the left side of X Street in the western suburbs within three days. ...

Sagittarius: Are you a little efficient? Take your watch and I'll be there in five minutes! (puts down the phone and rushes out of the room)

Gangster: I ... I haven't said the location yet ...

12

Gangster: You are allowed to put your money in the trash can on the left side of X Street in the western suburbs within three days. ...

Magic Zuo Jie: But I have something to do ... some other time!

Gangster: Hey-don't hang up! Hey! Hey! ……

There are three people in the family, named robber, kitchen knife and trouble.

One day, the trouble disappeared. The robber came to the public security bureau with a kitchen knife and said to the police, "hello, I'm a robber." I am looking for trouble with a kitchen knife. "

Hee hee and haha are good friends, very good friends.

One day, haha died. Hee hee is very sad. He went to Haha's grave and said, "Haha, you are dead."

One day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss said, "No."

The little white rabbit is gone.

The next day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss said, "I told you, no!" "

The little white rabbit is gone.

On the third day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss is anxious: "How many times have I told you? ! Don't! ! ! If you bother me again, I'll clamp your teeth with tiger pliers

Unplug them all! "

The little white rabbit was frightened and ran away.

On the fourth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have tiger pliers here?"

The boss said, "No."

The little white rabbit asked, "Well, do you have any carrots?"

The boss was really angry, took out the tiger pliers and pulled out all the teeth of the little white rabbit.

On the fifth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have carrot juice here?"

A man said to his father, "Give me five yuan."

Dad said, "What for?"

The son said, "Tomorrow, the teacher will take us to the zoo to see pythons."

Dad said, "it doesn't cost money, and you don't look at earthworms with a magnifying glass!" "

My family name is me, my name loves you, I miss you, my name knows you, my name loves you, my name dreams of you, my name soars in you, my name chases you, my friends ask me to fix you, you can ask me to kiss you!

One day, an elephant was walking in the forest and accidentally ran into an ant nest full of ants. It shook off the ants, but there was one left on the elephant's neck. At this time, the ants on the ground shouted to the ants above: strangle it ... strangle it. ......

A man rushed into a unit and shouted, Is this the Animal Protection Association? Staff: Yes,

Who bullied you?

Three mice are bragging. One said, "I eat rat poison as candy, and I feel uncomfortable if I don't eat it for a day." Another said, "I like to walk in the street twice a day, otherwise I won't sleep well." The third mouse said, "It's getting late. Go home and hug the cat to sleep."

The husband and wife divorced for their children, and the wife confidently said, "The child comes out of my stomach, of course it is mine!" " The husband said, "Joke! This is complete nonsense. Can the money withdrawn from the ATM go to the ATM? No one inserted the card! ?

Interesting take-out copy.

This story happened on June 6, 2006 ... I just saw it in the cat's eye today ~ so happy!

I am in a bad mood these days. It is boring to stay at home at night. I sent a short message to an ex-girlfriend of mine. The content of the short message is as follows:

"Baby, what are you doing? Come out to play with me at night. Although it is winter, I am so hot. I know you will give me a fever.

I am waiting for you in the beautiful city of Kaibin. However, due to my inattention, I pressed the send button, and my phone book C.P.186 people (30 relatives, 10/friends, 16 comrades, 19 colleagues, 3 life confidants and 20 classmates). ...

Relatives: 30 people.

Mom: "This dead child has great courage. Send me a yellow message ... "

Dad: "Son, are you drunk again?" Is it wrong again? "

Cousin: "Brother, are you wrong?" Don't behave badly in school. Corbin's room is not very good, but Di Chin's room is very good. "

Cousin: "?"

Cousin: "I deleted it after reading it. Let your cousin have a look."

Cousin: "Brother, what's wrong with you? I just took a bath in Kaibin yesterday. I'm not going. Go ahead. "

Cousin: "Brother, you can't like me, that's incest."

Aunt: "Our hospital is interested in science. Call me tomorrow and I'll show you around. "

Uncle: "Uncle, don't you know this man? I never go to those places to find a lady "(sweat, it's too expensive).

Uncle Shanghai: "Son, have you come to Shanghai?"

Another cousin: "Are you sick? What message did you send? "

Another cousin: "I know I was very kind to you when you were a child, washing your feet, washing clothes and reciting" Spring and Snow in the Garden ",but after so many years, you just told me these things now, alas ... (I'm sorry).

None of the remaining relatives have a chance.

Friend: 10 1 person.

The three young sisters wrote back: "Brother, I haven't come to our pedicure for a long time."

N female netizens basically replied: "I haven't seen you yet, how can I get there?" You are so annoying, you keep people awake at night. "

The four female netizens who met invariably replied: "Don't imagine me so casually, I'm not that kind of person."

Two female friends working in other places: "Are you crazy? Let me fly back to you. It's really inexplicable. "

Four out-of-town buddies: Brother, I know you never drink, but I can assure you today that you must have drunk too much. "

Female friend: "although I like you very much, you should know that I am married." Will you wait for my family to go on business? You are asking me out. Wow, I didn't usually see it. )

Female friend: "I made up with my boyfriend. Thank you for remembering me."

Two former objects: "You damn fool, why didn't you come to me on Valentine's Day?" I won't talk to a heartless person like you. "

Three mobile female friends: "You know, we often contact because of business needs. Are you a pervert? "

2 Unicom's female friend: "Who are you?" (Want to die)

Three Unicom female friends: "You, how many times have you said don't play?" Relax. If you really need it, shall we go to dinner first? "

1 Netcom female friend: "I am in Aershan"

Just broke up with someone: "I knew you wouldn't be so cruel." You won't give up on me, will you? " You wait for me, I'll come right away. "

N female friends I met through my buddies: "I didn't expect such a friend to be like this. Don't say you know me again. "

Three female friends: "Don't say you know me in the future."

Two sisters: "OK, you check in first, and I'll go home and change." (change underwear? )

1 buddy: "I haven't found out that you are gay for so long. Let's not contact again. " (grievance)

N buddy: "What's wrong with you? Go to the hospital if you can't? "

Two buddies: "boss, as far as I know, your woman has been coming." Why is it out of stock now? Do you want to be with me? "

Two former lovers: "Let's not contact again. If we do this, I'm afraid I will be reluctant to part with you. Although I am not a good girl, I don't want to contact you because you are too messy. "

I didn't get the rest back.

Comrades: 16.

Two comrades in arms: "What do you mean?"

The rest of the comrades unanimously replied, "You are fucking sick."

Colleague: 19 people.

Married female colleague: "I am her husband. Who the fuck are you? "

A married female colleague: "hey, I'm old and looking at a man in his forties, but I want to thank you for being so direct." Come to my house. He is not at home. " I usually can't see it. )

My leader (my battalion chief): "Bring a review when you go to work tomorrow."

I have not answered the rest.

Classmate: 20 people.

Six female students from other places: "What's the matter? I don't understand. " (Hehe, my classmate is pure, and his understanding ability is so poor)

1 Female classmate: You still remember me. I am here today. Maybe another time. "

Three female students: "Hello, who are you?"

1 Female student: "Are you Li Ming? Long time no see, I miss you too. Please take a taxi to pick me up. " I'm dizzy. This classmate thinks I'm someone else. )

I have not answered the rest.

Life confidant: 3.

They didn't reply to my message, but called to say hello immediately.

A man asked if there were any difficulties,

A man asked if anything had happened at home,

One asked, did I enter menopause early?

They are still my three best friends. They know that I always send the wrong information and can understand me. )

The next day, I called everyone in the phone book to explain,

But few people can believe that I sent it wrong. I'm depressed.