How to Deal with Being Single and Lonely —— Teach you four steps

When you are single, it is difficult to see happy couples expressing their love. However, being single may be a good opportunity to deepen the relationship with relatives and friends, pursue hobbies, achieve career goals and deepen your understanding of yourself! If you are struggling with loneliness, please try to build self-confidence in the social environment. At first glance, it seems daunting, but please try to put yourself in the other's shoes, make new friends and let your interpersonal relationship develop naturally.

First, cultivate a positive attitude.

1, try to realize the benefits of being single. Falling in love can't make you a better and more successful person, so don't look down on yourself because you are single. Instead, please think about the positive aspects of single life. You are free to choose your own residence and work style, and you don't have to face the pressure and troubles brought by any relationship.

Being single also allows you to put your career and personal goals first. Many people in loyal relationships hope that they can pursue their goals without compromise.

When you feel lonely, please contact your relatives. Call an old friend, catch up with him, invite relatives for coffee or lunch, or invite some people to a game night. Romantic partnership is not the only satisfactory relationship. In fact, being single is an ideal time to cultivate other relationships that can last a lifetime.

If you want to vent your emotions, please be honest with your trusted relatives. It may be difficult to talk about loneliness at first, but discussing it with friends or relatives can help you feel better.

Use technology to keep in touch with relatives. If you can't communicate face to face, please talk by phone, exchange emails and socialize? Body to establish contact or arrangement * * * * * * * *.

3. Add some joy to your home. If your environment is dull, please create a happy and energetic space to help you overcome loneliness and depression. Try to paint your room with a fresh and bright color, such as bright green or chipped blue.

Buy some flowers or plants to make your house full of vitality.

Open the blinds and replace the dark curtains with transparent ones. Letting more light into your house can help you feel more connected with the outside world.

Minimize confusion. A more organized family helps to cultivate a positive attitude.

4. Exercise at least 30 minutes every day. Regular exercise can improve physical and mental health. Do some activities to get you out of trouble. Try walking around your home, taking part in some natural activities, swimming or taking group yoga, spinning or martial arts classes.

Walking around your neighbors can help you know more neighbors, and group fitness classes are a good way to make new friends.

5. Cultivate a new hobby. Learning new things is a beneficial experience and can help you develop new skills. Joining a club or taking classes can also help you meet like-minded people? .

For example, pursue interests in cooking, gardening or handicrafts. Join a club or take courses on these topics to turn your hobbies into social activities.

Find courses or clubs online, or find social opportunities in related enterprises or organizations. For example, if you want to engage in gardening, check whether the local gardening center offers gardening courses.

6. Reward yourself with the reward of leaving home. Buying new clothes, changing a new hairstyle or getting a massage are all good ways to practice self-love. Visiting new shops, restaurants and other public places also provides opportunities to interact with others.

Put yourself there and go to the movies, plays or concerts. These are not just "dating" activities; You can enjoy these things by yourself.

Travel where you've always wanted to go. Most importantly, you don't have to negotiate with others or deal with their quirks, such as wanting to stay where you don't care, or not wanting to fly.

7. Make new furry friends. If you are tired of returning to an empty house, furry companions can provide unconditional love and help suppress loneliness. In addition, pets can lower blood pressure and promote exercise, thus improving your overall health.

Pets can also provide social opportunities. For example, having a dog is a good start for conversation, and you need to leave home more often for a walk.

Remember that sometimes everyone feels lonely. Try not to idealize interpersonal relationships or think that dating and marriage are omnipotent. It is not easy to establish a relationship with a person, and even the people in the relationship will feel lonely.

Feeling lonely is part of human beings. In a sense, this is a good thing. Loneliness urges people to seek contact with others, so it is part of the foundation of all relationships.

Second, build social confidence.

1, redirect negative and critical thoughts. If you start thinking "I'm not good enough" or "What's wrong with me", please say to yourself, "Stop! These are not productive ideas, and I have the right to change my mind. " The first step of self-confidence in social environment is to change the way of thinking that leads to insecurity. [ 12]

Severe self-criticism is usually based on distorted thinking. Stop beating yourself up, remain objective and challenge distorted ideas.

Don't dwell on the past relationship, and don't treat it as a "failure". Accept that you can't change the past. On the contrary, move on and seize the opportunity to become a fuller and more fruitful person.

2. Try to make yourself vulnerable. Building a new platonic or romantic relationship doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, being open about loopholes is a way of communication between people. Accept your shortcomings, try to change yourself and show your compassion.

Try not to be afraid of rejection. If things can't be solved with potential friends or partners, please don't think it's your fault or your fault. Sometimes people are at odds with each other, misunderstood, or in a bad mood.

3. Take social risks of health. You may feel stressed and risky, but you must meet and interact with people to suppress loneliness. Put yourself there and meet new friends. Every step you take will make your skin more comfortable.

Challenge yourself, try new things, talk to new friends, and participate in strange environments. If your colleagues invite you out after work, please accept their invitation. If you are waiting in line at the store, please talk to the person next to you or the cashier.

4. Ask questions to promote dialogue. If you are worried about awkward silence or don't know what to say, please ask questions. Most people like to talk about themselves, so asking questions can make the conversation unimpeded.

You can ask a person "What do you do" or "What good movies have you seen recently?"

If you are attending a party, you may ask, "Then how do you know the host?"

While waiting for class, you can ask the person next to you, "How was the quiz yesterday? Really pulled the carpet out from under me! "

5. Gradually build confidence in the social environment. Set reasonable expectations and strive to improve your social self-confidence once and for all. For example, you can start by smiling and waving to your neighbors while walking in the street.

Next time you see your neighbor, you can introduce yourself and spend some time chatting. You can talk about your neighbors, tell them how cute their dogs are, or praise their gardens.

When you become friendly, you can invite them to have coffee or tea together.

Third, make new friends.

1. Join a new social group. You can go to the local library or cafe to see if there is a reading club. If you are passionate about a series of specific problems or social reasons, please search on the Internet to see if there are any clubs or organizations in your area that care about the same reasons.

If you are a religious believer, please consider joining a place of worship or a meditation or prayer group.

2. Volunteer for your favorite charity. Volunteering can help you stay busy and improve your self-esteem. Besides, volunteering for the cause you value can keep you in touch with like-minded people.

For example, if you like animals, you can improve your understanding of a disease that affects your loved ones, or volunteer for political reasons closely related to your heart.

3. Join the online community. Besides online dating, there are many ways to contact others through the internet. Toys have online games with chat function, chat about topics of interest in forums, and make new friends on social media.

If you want to communicate with others face to face, you can interact with others online, which can help you develop social skills. Just remember to practice network security and avoid sharing private information.

4. Try to let the relationship form naturally. Try not to fall into platonic or romantic relationships. Allow your connection with others to develop over time, don't force yourself. Be patient and build a solid foundation for your relationship time.

It is better to be single than to build a relationship with a person who is not so good. Someone will appear when you least expect it, so be patient and positive.

Fourth, dating

1. Set online dating data. Please try to be yourself when filling in your personal data. Talk about positive things, such as your hobbies and likes, instead of listing your troubles or bragging about what you are best at. Read everything you write aloud and make sure it sounds like dialogue, not clumsy or arrogant.

Try to set realistic expectations, take your time and listen to your intuition. If you hook up with someone by email or SMS, please continue the phone conversation and arrange a date. Although you don't want to be in a hurry, it's important to establish contact with others, not just send text messages for a few weeks.

Try not to think that someone is "that person" or that you have immediate contact with them, especially before the first date. It's easy to idealize someone before meeting them. You should develop relationships without preconceived notions.

2. Build up self-confidence so that you can ask others yourself. In addition to online dating sites, you may meet potential dates in grocery stores, clubs or classes, parties or gyms. The idea of inviting someone out may be daunting, but being more relaxed in a basic social environment can help you overcome shyness.

When you are out, start a conversation and try to talk to people you are attracted to and people you don't know. In order to break the deadlock, you can mention the weather and ask for advice or praise.

Try to cultivate a more confident attitude through positive self-dialogue. I said to myself, "Sometimes I am shy, but I can overcome it." He didn't think, "I am a shy person and can't ask others out."

3. Keep calm and casual when asking your date. When you get more and more comfortable with ordinary people, please challenge yourself to date someone. Talk to them and break the ice. Then, if the conversation goes well, ask them if they want to meet for a cup of coffee or have time.

For example, you may see someone holding a book written by your favorite author in a coffee shop. You might say "Oh, I always liked Nabokov" or "I didn't know people were still reading real books!" Something like that

In the dialogue, you can ask some questions, such as "Have you read many of his books? Which one do you like best? Who is your favorite writer? "

If you seem successful, please ask to continue the conversation. Keep leisure and think that friends are going out to play with you. I have to go to work, but I really enjoyed this conversation. Are you interested in continuing to drink coffee this week? "

4. Start with a brief encounter, such as coffee or drinks. A good first love is a low-stress short-term date, which can make you and your date understand each other. Chatting over coffee or cocktails can break the deadlock, without eating or stress.

Set reasonable expectations and don't decide whether someone is not suitable just because they are not perfect. However, if you are absolutely sure that this person is not right for you right away, then at least drinking coffee or drinks is not the main investment of your time or money.

Make a second and third date so that you can talk. If the first date goes well, ask them if they want to have dinner, go for a walk in the park, have a picnic or go to the zoo. At this stage, it is very important to get to know each other, so please take part in activities that will not hinder the conversation.

Ways to avoid dating include going to the movies and going to noisy bars. In addition, it's best to spend some time at this time and don't do activities with many friends. Instead, try to find a date that can balance your favorite activity and your favorite activity.

6. Be optimistic and don't set too high expectations. When you reach an agreement with someone, you want to know where it will go. However, instead of writing a relationship script before the relationship begins, it is better to enjoy every natural moment.

Not every relationship has to develop into a marriage or a long-term partnership. It might be fun to date anyone. Can help you better understand your partner's needs.

Have fun and try not to give people harsh expectations. Remind yourself that love happens when you least expect it, and there are many aspects of life that you can't control.