Joke Collection Website - Blessing messages - My son is 1 1 years old. He stole money and flowers from home and lied. How to educate?
My son is 1 1 years old. He stole money and flowers from home and lied. How to educate?
Tell me about my experience. My daughter has stolen money before. She knows where our money is first. When she is sent to school every morning, she usually gets up late, but for a few days, strangely, she gets up very early, not a little earlier, but basically an hour earlier, and then she finds out that she has stolen money. But we didn't say it directly, but told her intentionally or unintentionally about the harm of lying and stealing money, the possible consequences and how we would deal with it. I gave her two chances. The first time, I warned her not to do it again. The second time, I warned her. It was not until the third time that I found out that she had no intention of repentance. I secretly followed her to the place where she spent money, only to find that girls like to eat snacks. Usually we buy them for her, but she always wants to have some freedom and eat what she likes. At home, we criticized her once, and then gave her three kinds of punishment opinions and asked her to choose one. She chose to spank once, and she cried bitterly. Through this incident, I also feel that children are older and really need some pocket money. I talked to her directly and decided to give her a certain amount of pocket money every day according to her usual needs and never steal money again. Through this experience, I have gained a few points, hoping to help you:
1. By handling this matter, you should be able to achieve his purpose of trusting you. It is very important for children to get rid of the habit of lying. If he doesn't trust you and doesn't want to tell you, he will hide more things from you in the future, and the child's mind will always be out of control, so even if the punishment is based on mutual trust, he will feel that he can honestly admit his mistakes and be brave enough to bear the consequences no matter what.
Through the handling of this matter, it should be possible to achieve the goal of making him dare to bear. If you make a mistake, you naturally have to take responsibility. No matter how many reasons he has, it is naturally wrong to steal money and lie. So it is far from enough for him to bear the consequences of such bad behavior. I just don't think verbal criticism is enough. "It takes seven inches to hit a snake", so he should be afraid and look for places that are easy for children to be afraid.
By dealing with this matter, he should be able to achieve his goal without lying. It is more effective to look at where his money is spent, tell him how to spend it, what he can buy and what he can't buy, and give him money directly, so that he can form the habit of thrift. My child is what she wants to eat, and she can't afford to pay for it. Later, after understanding, she increased the amount of pocket money.
I hope my answer can help you.
When I was a child, I stole money from my family, and my family advised me, which made me feel that it didn't matter how much money I had at home. Then I stopped taking money. After having a girlfriend, I once went to the supermarket with my girlfriend and put two pens in my pocket. Your girlfriend asks if you are worth the money of these two pens. I was wrong about you? I stopped stealing afterwards. Children usually take money from home, because when they were young, they thought you didn't care about a lot of money, and you couldn't count it yourself. First, we must first establish values. What is yours is yours, and no one else can touch it. The second is to ensure that he has money to spend, but he does not spend it indiscriminately. He should buy what he shouldn't. We should instill in him the truth that three gentlemen love money and tell him that you have taken the money. We know the problem is serious. He should take it seriously. If he can't win 40 million yuan, it will be counterproductive. We should make sure that he has money to spend every day and will not take money from his classmates. My daughter now spends 20 yuan's pocket money every day. We will tell us whether she wants to use more money. We will watch it.
Parents should not be impatient when children lie. They should first find out the reasons and understand the motives behind these lies. The best way to educate children is to make them understand that there is no need to lie.
Lying is actually a problem that every child has made. When parents find out that their children are lying, their first reaction is anger, and then they chase after them in an attempt to find out the truth. There are only two results: first, the child told the truth, but the parents did not forgive him for it, but instead attracted a punishment; Second, the child was forced to tell another lie. Tell it over and over again, and lying becomes a habit. In this way, parents' behavior is counterproductive. This not only did not stop the child from telling lies, but prompted him to tell more lies.
Therefore, when parents find their children lying for the first time, don't be angry, stay calm first, and don't pretend not to know; Explain to him in a gentle and firm tone: mom and dad have always loved you, but they don't like lying children. If you can tell the truth instead of lying, your parents will love you more. Usually, when a child knows that he has made a mistake and his parents have not stopped loving him, he will be happy to tell the truth. Never force a child to admit his mistake, nor severely criticize and punish him. If he commits another crime in the future, he will be dealt with in the same way and then given appropriate punishment, such as clapping his hands. After one or two times, he will keep these lessons in mind.
Secondly, children should be encouraged to admit their mistakes. Understand his motives for making mistakes and educate children to be responsible for their actions. When a child honestly admits his mistake to you, you should praise him to enhance his sense of responsibility and make the child realize the value of honesty. However, the mistakes made should also be properly handled, given due lessons and punishments, and children should not think that they will be fine as long as they "admit their mistakes".
That's all I have to answer to this question. Please pay attention, thank you!
The same thing happened to my third grade children. Now I want to share it with you, hoping to help you.
My father and I are very busy at work. Children go home by themselves after school and do their homework at home. One day, I found that most of the coins in the bottle beside my bed were much less. After confirming that it was not the father who took it, the "domestic thief" was the son. After "torture", nothing was found. In the evening, after my son went to bed, I sneaked into his bedroom, gently took out his schoolbag and opened the pencil box, which contained erasers of different shapes, smells and colors. Obviously, my son lied. I asked my husband if he wanted to "torture" his son to confess. My husband said that the child took the money and did nothing wrong. Let's wait and see for a while.
A casual chat learned that the same thing happened to a colleague's child. In a rage, the couple beat the child. Since then, the child has never stolen money, but since then, he has had a psychological shadow: he shivers at the sight of money. This incident made her regret it. After going home to communicate with my father, I'm going to talk to my son on Friday night. Who knows, on Thursday, the boy will do the same thing again. This time, he even took twenty dollars from my wallet. At night, I was sitting on the sofa, and I was so angry. The boy was too brave to give him anything, but he told himself to calm down. After my son fell asleep, I took out his schoolbag from his bedroom. There is no money in the pencil box. Finally, I found a neatly packed 20 yuan paper money in the Chinese book. Calm down and then calm down. After thinking for a long time, I wrote a short message to my son: "I accidentally lost 20 yuan today." I feel very sad. 20 yuan is very useful. You can order milk for your son for a month and buy a bag of rice. This is the living expenses of our family for one week. " "Nothing happened at noon the next day. In the evening, I had twenty yuan more in my wallet. We talked with our son for a long time on Friday night and told him that if he needed money, he could discuss it with his parents, and we would certainly meet the reasonable requirements. Since then, our son has never taken money without permission.
No child is born a bad child, and correct guidance will not let children go astray.
At the age of eleven, he hasn't realized how serious it is to steal money from his family. We should educate and correct him in time! Tell him it's not fair! We must correct our mistakes in the future, and there must be no next time. At the same time, we should care and cherish our children and know what they need. The necessary use should satisfy the children. Cultivate children and be aboveboard!
The problem of this topic can be divided into two parts.
Number one: stealing money,
Second: lying.
First: stealing money is certainly not correct. Children at this stage, from a legal point of view, money belongs to their families, and it is not illegal for children to take money from their families. The behavior of children stealing money must be that parents have not satisfied their children at some point. For example, if a child wants something, he won't buy it at home or give pocket money. At this time, the child will definitely find a way to get money to buy it himself.
In view of this situation, giving children pocket money properly is not only to prevent children from "stealing money", but also to cultivate their financial quotient (many children go to college because they have never had absolute control over money, and their financial quotient is not high, so there are cases of borrowing usury or campus loans. ), and if the child has something that he particularly wants to buy, parents should guide him correctly at this time and cannot directly deny it. Children can buy it for their children in other ways, for example, children do something well and give it to their children as a gift to celebrate.
Second: Children lying is a way of self-protection. If they do something wrong and tell the truth, they will lie because they have been beaten and criticized for a long time. Children don't think so deeply as adults. Cause and effect will be considered. For example, children can escape for one second or one second. As for what happens in the next second, we will talk about it then.
If you want your child not to lie, you can deal with things severely when the child does something wrong, but you can't deny the child. After handling things, we should make sure that the child is still a good boy, not because the child is a bad boy after this incident and can't hurt the child's self-esteem. At the same time, try to understand why children do this. Strictly speaking, before 14 years old, children still don't have such a clear understanding of the right and wrong of some things.
First of all, you should make sure that your children are smart. They know the value of money at an early age and exchange it for what they need. As for telling lies, they just naively think that lies can cover up mistakes and get away with it. Parents should not make a fuss about the problem of small basin friends, and of course they should not be tolerated or taken lightly. First of all, we should find the reasons from our own management education, whether we care about and care for our children at ordinary times, and whether we meet their legitimate and reasonable material requirements. Eleven-year-olds already have their own friends. Are they often cash-strapped when interacting with children of the same age and have no conditions to reciprocate, so they came up with such a bad idea? Secondly, if parents want to educate their children well, they can't always be cruel to their fathers and strict with their mothers. They should communicate with their children like friends and let them tell their parents what they really think and get understanding and support. If you get reasonable demand through proper means, you won't use your head to steal and cheat. Finally, it is necessary to calmly deal with children's misguided bad behavior, not simply and rudely, and not letting themselves go. While fully communicating and helping children analyze the serious consequences of stealing money and lying, it also establishes a reasonable process for children to take money, manage money and spend money. For example, today's children will receive red envelopes on holidays, and they will be encouraged by their parents to do good deeds. Buy a piggy bank for your child, put in the money you receive on weekdays, and tell him that the money is yours and you can use it at will, but there are two small requirements. One is to spend money where it is most needed, and the other is to learn to keep accounts and manage money. It is best to keep a record of every sum of money spent, so that parents can have a look. If the money is spent meaningfully, they will get it. I don't know if the above suggestion is ok, because this method was adopted by our children when they were young, and the effect is still good, that is, a gentleman loves money and uses it wisely.
This shows that children have reached the age of needing money. He can't get it, so he can only take the method of stealing. I suggest you establish a way for him to get money by himself, such as doing housework and getting good grades in school. . You can't set too difficult goals, otherwise you will continue to steal if you don't achieve it, which will also dampen your child's self-confidence and self-esteem. . For example, contracting to wash dishes, how much is it every month, and it is paid in the form of salary. . When a child can earn money by his own efforts aboveboard, he will have a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction and will not steal again. .
Have you started giving pocket money to children?
You can discuss with your child, give him a certain amount of pocket money every week, or stipulate some family matters. If he does it voluntarily, he can earn some pocket money. In short, if a child doesn't steal money, he should be given channels to make money by himself.
For example, if parents work one day, they can show their children around. Children will know how to be grateful when they see their parents' efforts and their hard work. At the same time, you will know that it is not easy for parents to make money, and they will be more restrained and will not spend money indiscriminately.
Children can negotiate. Don't be too busy punishing things. Negotiate with him a way to let him know what he did wrong and what to do in the future. This is the key.
1 1 year-old children have a strong sense of self. Criticizing children blindly will only push them away. On the contrary, if you can tolerate children and negotiate with them to solve problems, these bad habits can only be discovered and really solved through your tolerance and negotiation.
I'm Lianjun @ Parent-child Story, welcome to pay attention to forwarding. Please also leave a message in the comment area, communicate together, and raise children easily!
The quality of children is closely related to their parents. If children are surrounded by honest people, then children will not lie easily. Children take money at home and have some irrational consumption, which may not be so directly related to parents' usual indoctrination of money concepts.
As parents, we must first ask our children to have excellent quality. In terms of honesty, we can do it.
First, let children know that honesty is very important. You can discuss ways to deal with lying with your child, focusing on education rather than punishment, and let him be responsible for his lies.
Second, we should avoid condemning children by labeling them instead of classifying them. This runs counter to our original intention, and children may develop in the direction of lying in the future.
Third, we must pay attention to children's needs. Children generally lie because their demands are not met. We can discuss with our children how to meet their physical and mental needs in the right way.
Fourth, take advantage of the child's lying state, which may be guilt and self-blame, or it may be feeling angry, angry and afraid. Take this opportunity to make him understand the importance of honesty.
Fifth, set a good example. Sometimes children's shortcomings may be problems that we don't usually notice, so we should review our behavior first and then influence our children.
In terms of children's spending money, we need to provide children with some conscious financial management concepts. We can train children to make a consumption plan before using it in a planned way, so that children can plan and implement it themselves. We can train children, and help them make a consumption plan before using it in a planned way, so that children can plan and implement the necessary supervision and inspection by themselves. In addition, you can take your child shopping together, let him know the parents' selection criteria, show him a wise consumption concept, know the budget and know how to spend money on the cutting edge. The people present can give him some opportunities, such as letting him participate in buying vegetables, paying telephone and utilities, letting him know what expenses his parents need, and knowing that his family's finances will be considered comprehensively, not just his own needs.
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