Lost in Russia: Don't be shy, talk well.

This is a very interesting film. I especially like such spiritual works.

Although Lost in Russia begins with the relationship between husband and wife, he talks about the relationship between mother and child. In this film, we should more or less see our own shadow, family relationship and universal social values.

Our parents' generation or most of them didn't live happily, so we can only say that they stayed at the level of survival. In our generation, because we love each other, we just seem to unconsciously copy the mode of getting along with our parents, and gradually lead a romantic and loving life to be cold and tasteless, until finally, we can only choose to separate.

The reason why the divorce rate in big cities is so high (about 40%) can be seen from the movies.

At the beginning of the film, Ivan and his wife have reached the point of divorce, but Ivan's mother doesn't know that they are going to divorce, and she still fantasizes about having grandchildren early and treating Zhang Lu as her daughter. It's so sweet.

After Zhang entered the room, the conversation between the two men was less than a few words and immediately reached an impasse. From their conversation, I can hear that Ivan doesn't want a divorce, but Zhang Lu thinks that he can no longer be nourished in this marriage, and he can feel more controlled, transformed and seized, and insists on leaving.

After several conversations, Zhang Lu finally spoke, "This is the problem between us. You have an ideal wife in your heart. What should she like? " ? Hate what? What can I say? You've already set it. Why do you insist on transforming me? It's been so many years, haven't you realized? I am not who you think I am. "

This sentence really speaks volumes about the end of marriage.

When we want to transform each other, we have actually reached the door of hell.

Unconsciously, unconsciously copy the way parents get along with each other, use control and grab to make each other pay for their sense of security, but ignore each other's feelings and think that this is love (I love you so much, how do you ...)

In modern society, the demand for democracy and respect is so urgent that everyone wants to live the life he wants in a limited life, but when he enters a relationship, the other party wants him to be what he wants. Who is really happy and happy here? I believe there is no such thing.

Just without a happy marriage, how many people will choose to leave like Zhang Lu? Only on a certain economic basis can they choose such a life, otherwise divorce will be the biggest "stock" decline and collapse for a family, especially a family with children.

Interestingly, Ivan got on the train to Moscow with his mother by mistake and accompanied her to see the performance of the Red Star Grand Theatre. This film is always full of suspense, coincidence, adventure and drama. In addition to the temperament of the film, it also has a pair of wings, so that we can fly out and reflect on our lives and relationships.

Even with different social classes and different economic and family backgrounds, our problems and communication patterns are so similar. Perhaps most people are trapped in this mode: they don't know how to express their true feelings, needs and ideas to their dearest people. It looks like a cliff. It's too difficult.

We really feel from the film that, yes, his relationship with his mother really affected his intimate relationship. Deep down in his heart, he loves his mother so much, and so does her mother, and they are easy to quarrel and bicker together, and they don't know how to talk and communicate well.

In the relationship, we also look at our parents from the perspective of our son or daughter, but what we see from the perspective of our mother is completely different from that of our children (parents, as parties, are more likely to see the truth). It's like Ivan would think that his mother had gone too far and killed his father, but his mother left because of his words, and he didn't tell the truth until Ivan caught up with him. This is the truth that he has not told his children for decades, that is, his father committed domestic violence after being drunk and chopped his mother with a knife.

Yes, we have never seen a struggle, struggle or quarrel between adults. Because parents love their children so much and don't want them to suffer so much, what he can give them is what he thinks is the best and most precious, even memories. But often, it is easy for children to misunderstand their parents all the time (note that your childhood memory is not right or wrong, it depends on whether it is true or not) and cannot be forgiven (and it may take us a lifetime to choose to forgive). The worst thing is that when we can't forgive our parents from the deepest part of our hearts, we can't forgive ourselves and won't let ourselves live a good life.

And this trip has greatly changed their relationship. When things are near misses, love can be highlighted in these thrilling plots.

Is it only in times of crisis that the most essential things can be exposed and can pass through the hard turtle shell and the illusion of the soul?

Connect, connect, connect.

At the beginning of the movie, Zhang Lu said: ... why not give your mother a hug. "Ivan said at that time: Why should I hug her?" Note that this is our natural reaction.

At the end of the film, his mother finally experienced the performance of the Red Star Grand Theatre, and Ivan saw his radiant mother for the first time. A mother who lives the way she wants is so happy and radiant. At that moment, he embraced his mother deeply and learned to accept her (meaning that even if he said it, he would listen to it in his heart).

From Ivan, we can see the word "bitter": the family is good, because of the entanglement of the relationship, I was forced to work hard and even almost lost my life (or this is also the style of the movie).

I cried while watching this movie, and I also saw the struggle and entanglement in the relationship from this movie.

And life can't be as thrilling as in the movie, but we can look at our life as a mirror:

1, communication mode. Have we listened to each other's real thoughts and needs? Not just listening, but listening with your heart;

2. In life, do we have time to create high-quality companionship with this relationship? (just for company)

3. What is love? Have we figured out what love we give each other? Is it more about control and demand or acceptance and tolerance?

Perhaps these three things can bring more freedom and love to life when we really practice and feel.

Because there is love, you should say every word well.