What jokes have you made because of a slip of the tongue, a slip of the pen or an input method?

1, when I first started work, I ate at the company at noon and ordered takeout. After applauding, the boss suddenly found me in the company group and said that I would add a dish at noon and a takeaway chef would eat it here. I replied, can I add a braised pork chop? As a result, when I hit the pork chop with the input method, my hand was too fast, and pg spanked me. The whole company looked at me and answered, can I add a braised ass? After a few seconds, the boss replied, yes, but ask the restaurant, is the raw material easy to handle? . The company group exploded in an instant. . .

I went shopping with my friends, but I didn't know what to eat when it was time to eat. The discussion was fruitless for a long time. I want to say, let's eat McDonald's, but it's easy to say, let's eat Mai Dao Lang. . Friends laugh at pigs, fans laugh at pigs. . .

When I was a child, I rode a bike with my brother. I want to tell my brother that he rides downhill, I ride a bike and he rides uphill. As a result, the exit became a success. When I ride up the hill, you can ride down the hill. . . He promised decisively, but he didn't ride a bike after all. As a result, I rode my bike for a long time that day and my leg was not broken.

I have a friend. Once when he was a child, his father was playing mahjong and asked him to buy a pack of cigarettes. Then he asked his father what cigarettes he wanted. His father wants to talk about the Yellow Crane Tower and the Red River. He didn't react, so he told my friend to buy a pack of Honghe building. My friend went to the grocery store, but he didn't believe it. He went to the tobacco and liquor store on the street to look for it, but they also said they couldn't find it. Finally, he went to the supermarket to look for it, so he had to take the money home in frustration. As soon as I entered the community, I saw my parents looking for him on bicycles. . Later, it was said that his mother scolded his father for several days after his parents knew the reason for his disappearance. . . What an honest and frank boy. .

When I was in the third year of high school, the exam was coming, and I went out to play ball. My mother scolded me angrily and said that I was worried about your grades. Aren't you worried at all? It is really the emperor who is not in a hurry! Originally, I was very depressed. Hearing this, I smiled casually. My mother didn't realize it and scolded me for a long time. .

6. My friend told me that he quarreled with his girlfriend and scolded him when he was in a hurry. You son of a bitch, his girlfriend calmly replied, well, yes, suddenly he lost momentum. . .

7. I suddenly remembered one, not a clerical error, but a stupidity.

I have a lovely cousin. On Father's Day, she bought a gift for her father in advance, which my uncle bought online. I had not bought anything for my father at that time, so I asked her what she bought for her father.

She said she bought a big forest shoe.

What do I mean by big forest shoes?

She said, oh, it's not a big forest. It's called wooden head. .

I said I hadn't heard of any shoes of Woodenhead brand.

She said, not the wooden head, but that. . Timberwolves . .

I said the Timberwolves are an nba team and don't sell shoes.

She said no, I think she called a ranger. .

I said, did you buy an suv for your dad?

She said, no, what's her name? Green forest?

I said tm is decoration diatom mud. . .

She said, let me think about it later. . . After thinking for a long time, I said, forget it. I don't remember. I'll give you a link, and you can read it yourself.

As soon as I saw it, she bought a pair of shoes for her father, Mulinsen's. . .

8. Finally, I will send you a joke. A Chris Lee fan is nearsighted. One day, he was walking in the street when he suddenly saw a shop in front of him. There is a red banner at the door, which reads: Chris Lee plays B! I am very angry with this fan. I rolled up my sleeves and went to the store to tear them. As a result, I took a closer look People write that Li Ning's spring clothes are 20% off?

Emma has been praised by many people. It feels great. Ha ha ha ha.

In order to live up to everyone's praise, I interviewed several teasing people around me.

9. When poking fun at Xiao Chen at school, he recited an example of a teacher. I don't know what he thought about the sentence "Put all your eggs in one basket in troubled times, and don't ask Wen Da to be a vassal". From the first time, he recited it wrong and turned it into "A dog's life in troubled times". He said that when he took the exam later, he wrote the work "A dog's life in troubled times, without asking Wen Da to be a vassal" on the paper. The funniest thing is that he struggled for a long time on the question of "dog's life" or "desperate life" during the exam, and he also substituted the prime minister to feel the tragic era in which the prime minister lived, so he finally wrote the word "dog's life". Finally, it is said that the teacher drew a big cross on this sentence when marking the papers. The power of the cross is called a foot. It cuts paper. He said that he felt the anger of the Chinese teacher perfectly through this fork. . It really made me laugh to death. This guy went to Chengdu during the hot holiday last year. . Visiting Wuhou Temple is not afraid of the Prime Minister coming out to slap you, my friend. . .

10, poking fun at Liu's myopia of 400 degrees. Once on a highway in another province, he sat in the co-pilot and saw a bridge far ahead, with a huge advertisement hanging on it. The pictures in the advertisement are all gold coins, lucky cats and the like. However, there are four words in the advertisement: Pay heavy for the children! He was forced on the spot, secretly speculating that xx province is really awesome, and such a big fraud advertisement is so openly hung on the expressway, which is worthy of being a big fraud province (non-regional black oh)! Result. . . The car was getting closer and closer, and he didn't see it until he came to a huge advertisement, which read: Gold is coming! . . It turns out that this advertisement is a real estate advertisement of a local real estate company. You come to buy a house one day and pay for the lucky draw. Prizes include gold bars and decorations. This makes you think such a big advertisement is a huge sum of money on a telephone pole. . .

1 1. During my college years, I was cheated because of my lack of social experience. I feel very wronged. So I sent a short message to my mother.

"Mom, I was cheated."

As a result, Nokia's nine-grid keyboard, plus the words typed a few days ago, slipped and wrote.

"Mom, I was cut.

12, the daughter said, "Mom, I want to drink water."

"Don't drink too much. I have to pee for a while after drinking too much. " I finished pouring water for her, and then I told her so and went to do my own thing.

As soon as she put down the cup, she said, "I have to pee."

I was writing, and without looking up, I said, "Go by yourself and tell you not to pee too much. Is it going to pull water soon? "

Leave a lovely child?