Happy humor funny copy

1. I really love you and want to sell my house to support you, but the landlord doesn't agree!

2. My wife said: After you marry me, you can wash the dishes if you want, and wipe the floor if you want. Isn't that free enough? Is it too much to control pocket money?

I remember Wang Sicong said, "I don't care whether he has money or not when I make friends. Anyway, he is not as rich as I am. This kind of confidence is actually very similar to mine, because I never care how poor he is when I make friends, and he is not as poor as me anyway.

4. "What do you think of plastic surgery?" "Artificial beauty is not necessarily more beautiful than natural beauty, but it is definitely better than natural ugliness."

Life is relatively tight recently. I borrowed 20 thousand yuan from my friends yesterday, but I have squandered it today. In desperation, I had to change my signature to: My number was stolen. Don't believe me when I borrow money from you!

6. I heard that Starbucks is a photo studio with the theme of coffee shop; KFC McDonald's is a public toilet with the theme of fast food restaurant; The school is a marriage agency with learning as its theme. "There seems to be nothing wrong.

7. Go home after working overtime at night and see that my son has leftovers! I was angry. Why don't you save me something to eat?

8. After chasing a girl for many years, she finally agreed to travel with me. She flew directly to Zhengzhou this morning. She must go to see the Yellow River at once. When she reached the Yellow River, she said to me gently: Are you dead now?

9. Don't bully any fat man. After all, they spend several times as much on food as people who are not fat. When you think they are just eating goods, they are actually showing off their wealth.

10. When I was a child, I saw my father working hard, so I made up my mind that I would never work when I grew up.

1 1. One day, my mother spoiled: I am my mother's intimate little cotton-padded jacket. She hugged her mother and was pushed away by her mother: don't wear a small cotton-padded jacket on a hot day.

12. Yesterday, I went to the zoo to see animals. When I see tigers, I can spend 20 yuan to buy live chickens to feed them. I quickly left 20 yuan and took the chicken away beautifully. This is the first time to buy such a cheap chicken!

13. "Son, remember not to marry your wife and forget your mother in the future." "Don't worry, Mom, I will always be a mom."

14. Be a man and do things with strength. If you call me fat, I'll show you! You call me lazy, I'll lie down and show you!

15. Mom said with a worried face, "You are so ugly that no one wants you!" The daughter fell into inferiority complex. Dad said beside him, "Don't say that!" The daughter looked at her father happily, and the father replied, "A blind cat can still touch a dead mouse!" " "Are you yourself?

16. Today's friends don't care whether you fly high or not, nor whether you are tired or not. They only care about where you fly and whether you can help with the shopping. ...

17. I have been picking up the car for more than a year. Go to the traffic police team to check the violation record today. I saw the service staff give me a faint look and said, Brother, we can all go to Tsinghua this time! I was a mess. ...

18. In the morning, my father scolded me. I'm almost 30, and I haven't achieved anything yet. I just play all day to see who's at someone else's house. Most of them have started companies like you. I said casually that you are as old as Ma Yun. Look at him. Dad was silent and stared at me. Should I run? ...

19. "which city in China has the most traffic jams?" "Beijing." "Put it in a more appropriate way." "Young and old leave home and go back to the boss."

20. People nowadays are really nosy! My girlfriend and I quarreled on the phone. What does it have to do with him? He doesn't know my girlfriend. To make matters worse, he called security! What a nuisance! I will never come to this cinema again.

2 1. Today, when I was shopping, a sister trotted over on the phone. The next second, she suddenly bumped into the arms of a buddy in front. My sister always said that she was embarrassed to be in a hurry, and it was the first time that she saw that the buddy was still in her pocket and said that it was okay. Let's go My sister's face was blue at that time.

22. I bought a knife on Taobao, and I saw the only bad review saying that I had an appointment to fight one-on-one the next day, and the third one was in Jack nife!

23. Son: "Mom, why am I here?" Mom: "Your father planted a seed in my stomach, and then there was you." The son turned and left. After a while, he took a gourd seed and said, "Mom, eat it and give me a gourd baby."

Looking back on the past few years, I have tasted the ups and downs of society. From nothing at the beginning to 300,000, from 300,000 to 2 million, from 2 million to 6.5438+million, and finally from 6.5438+million to 6.5438+03 million now. Not to show off. I just want to tell my friends through my own experience that the higher the pixel of a mobile phone. Really!

25. When watching movies, every time I see the words "Members can skip advertisements", I feel so shameless. People spend money on advertising, and they ask us to spend money on advertising. The point is that advertisers are stupid, too. We can't afford to buy diaosi products and watch advertisements. Gao Fushuai members who can afford to buy products never watch advertisements.

I met my boss at breakfast this morning. After I finished eating, I said, I'll pay the boss. The boss said I would come. I said firmly, it's okay. I'll pay for it. I ran to the shopkeeper, paid my own powder and ran away. I got off work at night and went home with this month's salary. Boss, this joke is too big.