What happened to those children who were thrown by their parents to study in famous foreign schools?

Probably exam-oriented education is really hateful. Many parents in China envy American education. It seems that in that kind of education, students' personality can be fully liberated and full of creativity, and people like Jobs can be cultivated. So more and more parents choose to send their children to famous foreign schools, but is this the right choice? Can children adapt? After reading this article recommended by Jun, I think you will understand.

Text | Wei Xiang

I went to Harvard Business School for a week and attended a global business leadership training course. After the course, there was no flight back to Shanghai that day. On the weekend, I decided to visit my sophomore daughter in Washington. ? 1? three

It was Friday night. I went to the hotel, put down my luggage and went straight to a Shanghai restaurant near the university. Push the door, I haven't gained a foothold, from a piece? In the noise, I only heard my daughter's crisp voice calling her mother in the distance. I looked in, and my daughter, who had just sat at the bar and chatted with the proprietress, got up, crossed the eyes of dozens of guests in the restaurant and came straight to hug me tightly. I just got off the plane and stayed up all night for a week. I am a little embarrassed to be unkempt, but I am very happy to see my daughter shining in the light. ? 1? My daughter seems to have grown up again. She is wearing a pair of jeans that I bought more than 20 years ago, a sleeveless coat that I bought more than 10 years ago, and a big red cotton-padded jacket in her hand. At this point, we are more and more like my mother. Clothes are recycled, and my daughter is most concerned about how to save the earth's resources as much as possible. The most beautiful decoration of her whole body is her smiling face full of confidence and vitality.

After a long hug, Anna first took me to see the boss's wife and said hello. When the proprietress saw me, she naturally praised my daughter's beauty and courtesy, and then Anna took me to the second floor to reserve a seat. Before we sat down, we entered our fixed procedure: I ordered, and she had endless words and questions. ? 1? I ordered the food at one o'clock, and my mother and daughter were fighting for each other and chattering endlessly. During the ten minutes waiting for the food to arrive, I shared my feelings at Harvard without reservation, and she also confessed to me her current topics, including study and extracurricular activities, which were related to male students and female students. When I was about to devote myself to our delicious food, I casually asked her if there was anything bothering her recently. ? 1? three

"Yes, Mom," Anna put down her chopsticks and suddenly frowned. "I have a very difficult thing." ? 1? three

I looked up and listened attentively. ? 1? three

I see. Anna serves as a "juror" on the student disciplinary Committee organized by the school. The school's disciplinary committee is generally composed of teachers, administrators and student representatives, and decides the punishment of problematic students regularly or irregularly. Generally speaking, these student problems are not enough to constitute criminal or civil crimes, but they all involve various matters such as morality and school discipline, such as harassment among classmates, or children's perennial truancy or plagiarism, or ethnic disputes, and so on. If a child is reported, this Committee has the right to investigate and make a ruling, and the final ruling is final. Some children will be defined as irresponsible, and some will be punished by canceling certain qualifications, grades and even being ordered to drop out of school. ? 1? Once children are reported and investigated, they will be "isolated" by the Committee: they can attend classes normally, but they can't talk to people casually, can't find people to play with casually, etc., but they are allowed to apply for "guidance teachers" and can talk to them. ? 1? In this way, an isolated classmate named Anna became his tutor. In order to protect this classmate, I called him "pistachio" and omitted some story details.

Pistachio is extremely clever. Born in a wealthy family in a coastal area of China, Pistachio was sent to the top private middle school in the United States by his parents very early. Pistachios have everything in the material world except the feeling of being loved. In his early years, he was sent to America by his parents. In his mind, it was his parents who didn't want him. He tried his best to get the recognition and attention of his parents. During the struggle, he suffered from severe depression, and he took sleeping pills to sleep at a young age and received antidepressant treatment. Because of pistachio depression, he was specially approved by the school to live alone in the dormitory, and he also bore the cost of a single room. ? 1? three

Out of the desire for love and care, pistachio will do anything for new friends at school, donate money to them and pay attention to their actions. In this process, he could not grasp the scale, was regarded as annoying by some students, and then harassed by the defendant, and then "isolated."

Anna told me the general situation, and then told me that she was most worried that pistachio would commit suicide. As soon as I heard it, I became nervous and quickly asked Anna what the basis was. She said that pistachios often talk about how worthless their lives are. After taking the medicine, I told her several times that only death can give him a new start. ? 1? 3? 1? I almost held my breath and asked Anna if she had reported it to anyone else. She said the Committee wouldn't allow it because she promised to keep it secret. I immediately thought of a student who jumped off a building at XX University in Hong Kong the year before last. A child I know is a good friend of a student who jumped off a building. Because of her guilt, she didn't think of doing anything in advance to prevent the tragedy from happening. She left a long-term pain and shadow in her heart. I talked to her many times and encouraged her to help the family of the deceased, especially an underage sister of the deceased. Later, she really did it and slowly began to walk out of her heart. ? 1? 3? 1? Anna's eyes were red, and my heart tightened. I'm also worried that pistachio will do something stupid, and that Anna can't bear such a big responsibility in case of an accident. So I asked Anna to see the pistachio later. ? 1? I can see that Anna is a little relieved. After all, she is a child herself. Adults may not be able to bear the pressure of this kind of thing. I walked up to her and put my arm around her. She turned around and said:

"Mom, sincerely, I'm so glad you came! Also, because of your love, you have no idea how happy I am! You don't know how many lonely and unfortunate children there are on the university campus. " ? 1? three

1? After finishing the account, we walked to school arm in arm, and I felt warm and restless all the way. ? 1? three

On Friday night, the campus was brightly lit, and the students coming and going were full of youthful vitality. When I walked beside Anna, her expression changed back to sunshine and confidence, and her face was full of happiness and pride. ? 1? Anna took me to the campus cinema for the first time to watch La La Land. We're late. Anna's roommates Emma and Isabel occupied a small piece of land for us on the carpet in front of the big screen. I was half lying among a lot of children, and my happiness was beyond words. With the ups and downs of the plot and music, seven or eight children around me sometimes dance and sometimes cry silently, flowing with them and laughing loudly. Really an unscrupulous young man! I looked around. Girls account for 70% and boys account for 30%, but almost all of them are white children. I can't help thinking, are those children in China studying, playing computer, or experiencing depression and loneliness? ? 1? After watching the movie, everyone ran back to the dormitory laughing and crazy. Anna and I run a little slower. As soon as we entered the door, Emma and Isabel had already started to dress themselves up, ready to go crazy in the city. They must also take me and Anna with them. Anna and I looked at each other and declined. In the cold weather, they were ready to run out in sleeveless shirts and skirts. I forced them to put on their coats at the door. Fortunately, they love face. When they left, they gave me a hug and ran away with a silvery smile. ? 1? Anna took time to look at the computer, and her face was full of doubts. She told me that she had received an email from the committee, and they informed her that because she was selected as a juror in this case, she could not continue to be the instructor of pistachio. I thought about it and told her that she must handle this matter well and explain it to pistachio, and took the opportunity to let the management know that she had talked with pistachio before receiving this email, and she thought that pistachio needed special care and guidance, otherwise she would be worried about his illness. ? 1? Anna drafted two emails, one for the Committee and the other for the pistachio. After we went through it together, she sent an email, which seemed a little easier, and I was relieved for Anna. So we went downstairs to see pistachios. ? 1? three

When we knocked on the door, pistachio was watching a video in the room. He must not have seen the email, but Anna has sent a message telling him to bring his mother to see him. what can I say? He stood at the door, barefoot and with messy hair. At first glance, he is really an immature child. When he saw Anna and me, he looked confused and happy. We didn't go into the house. Anna gave him a hug and I shook his hand hard. I looked him in the eye and wanted to seize the opportunity to say something weighty. I said,

"Pistachio nuts, Anna says you are very smart. She learned a lot from you. I want to thank you. "

He seemed very happy, so he immediately lowered his head and said it was a pity that his parents didn't come to see him and didn't like him. I waited for him to look up and say word for word,

"How is that possible? I don't like how you got into such a good university. My grandparents brought me up when I was a child. I thought for a long time that my parents didn't want me, and then I realized that I was actually the treasure in their hearts. Whether your parents come to see you or not, you are the treasure in their hearts. " ? 1? three

I could see that he was a little suspicious of me, so he said while the iron was hot:

"Anyway, every time I come to see Anna, I will come to see you. You can't do anything stupid, you know? " ? 1? three

He smiled shyly like a child, nodded and said enviously to Anna:

"You and your mother are very much alike. You have a good relationship. That's great. " ? 1? three

I don't know what to say. I asked him if he wanted me to contact his parents after returning home. He said no, Anna hugged him, I shook his hand and we said goodbye. When Anna hugged him, I thought to myself, Anna is really a child with great love in her heart. ? 1? Walking out of the pistachio dormitory, we met two tall boys at the elevator entrance. One of the girls with dark blue eyes said to Anna, "Anna, I want you to meet my twin brother." He is at Cornell University. " The twin brother wears a pair of glasses, and his delicate face is full of aura and looks very comfortable. He generously held out his hand and shook hands with Anna, and smartly repeated his and Anna's names respectively.

Anna pointed to me and said to them, "This is my mother." Leaning against the wall and writing emails on my mobile phone, I looked up at my two brothers and thought, "I must not say anything that is not cool, so Anna's image will be reduced." I was secretly happy, greeted them with a smile, shook hands one by one, and then laughed with the three of them as if I didn't care about my mobile phone at all. ? 1? When we left school, it was past midnight 1 1 half past one. Obviously, Anna is very happy. We decided to walk back to my hotel slowly, chatting in the cold wind all the way, and of course talking about the two boys we just met. ? 1? three

A lot has happened in this short night, and I'm glad I came. Although my daughter is independent and strong, it seems that she no longer needs me, but I obviously sent her a little charcoal fire and light in the winter night. I thank my daughter, who let me know that life can be so sweet and colorful, and her courage and love can make the world more worth cherishing. ? 1? All the accidents experienced overnight are inevitable factors in the past life and the next life. There is no standard answer to the goal of life. We can only think with our brains, steer with our hearts, and then let our hands and feet do what we can. I will leave my daughter early the next morning. This night, like countless nights in my life, will become irrelevant, but I think I'd better write these words down when I get on the plane. ? 1? Write it down for the time I spent with my daughter, for the precious memory in my heart, and for my beautiful daughter. ? 1? Write it down, hoping that pistachio can tide over the difficulties, get rid of depression, tap its own value, and have a life that can feel love and happiness. ? 1? three

Write it down. I hope all parents of pistachios can see it.

If you have children in famous foreign schools, or you are trying to send your children to study abroad, please be sure to think about whether you have given TA enough unconditional love and care since childhood, so that TA has a strong heart; Is it possible to cultivate TA's ability to study, socialize and struggle independently in famous foreign universities in a completely different cultural background? Also, if your child goes abroad, is there anyone and a place to cry in TA? Finally, in case your child is desperate, have you kept it for TA and let TA know that there is another way for TA to go home at any time?

1? 3 1000 pistachios are your children? ? 1? three

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