Super funny SMS.

1, love plain face, no affectation, no disguise, thick-skinned, eat out, be a bitch, afford it, and let it go.

2. You have the intelligence of Wei Zi, but you have to pretend to be an ignorant swallow; Have the great ambition of the queen, but can only be driven like a mother. Holding the salary of a little eunuch, I wonder why I don't have an emperor Amar!

I will never forget anything that appears in my mind. I lent you money from 20 yuan two months ago. How did you forget? A: Because the money went into my pocket, not into my head!

4, men chasing women, mountain disaster; It's easy for women to chase men and sandwich paper. However, in real life, men often catch up with the women they like, while women are the opposite. The reason is that men are not afraid of climbing mountains, and women are afraid of hurting their fingers!

My brother is a wolf in the north. He has been gentle and kind since he was a child. I only dare to watch my companions eat meat. Others think I'm a coward and dislike my wandering alone. Being single is really hard. I want a gentle sheep. You can spend the long mountain with me, and I will spend eternity with you.

6. You are a tree, I am a vine, and I am by your side; I am a lamp, you are oil, and I consume you; I am a pot, you are a cake, and I will brand you; You are tea, I am water, I soak you! You are a fish, I am a net, and I will catch you! I am a butterfly, you are a flower, I pick you, you are a pig, I am a human being, and I will let you go!

7. Recently, I have been fascinated with compiling materials, mainly because I refer to Hakka, reward forums for issuing gold coins, rack my brains to think about topics, forget to eat and sleep, and chat with colleagues. I offered to reward my words, and I was suspected of being evil because I became a guest fan!

8. A meteor streaked across the night sky, and China fans quickly made a wish, hoping that the national football team would enter the World Cup again. Unexpectedly, just after making a wish, the meteor came back and said to the fans, "Big Brother! It really embarrassed me, didn't it? ! "

9. There are scarabs deep in the cape, waiting for no one to chase them. My parents urge me every day, when will I bring Lang home? There are a lot of forty-one in front, and the twenty in the back are desperately chasing, and their hearts are broken and the New Year's Eve is fried.

10. Now the society is too complicated. I have asked Ping An to be your bodyguard, health as a shield, good luck as an assistant, happiness as a partner, success as a backup and success as a striker. Don't worry!

1 1. Eating watermelon is cool. Beauty beauty is a cucumber, Qingchang Diuretic is a wax gourd, and the sweetest is a cantaloupe. You are family with them. Why are you hiding underground? So you are a sweet potato.

12, the handsome guys in the world are ruthless, and love is just playing with feelings. Beautiful women are in a good mood with company, but they are rude after being bored. The beautiful women in the world are too affectionate, and sweet words make people emotional.

13, eat and drink, don't take things to heart; Looking at the watch in the shower is very comfortable for one second; Sweet is much, bitter is little, and life is like five dates; In a good mood, the most important thing is to be happy!

14, people are like houses, and friends are windows. The more windows, the brighter the house. I would like to be your biggest window facing the sun: spring is blooming, autumn is crisp, summer is cool and winter is warm!

15, like a sound, is the dew from the breeze; Appreciate a painting, which is a long moon dotted with stars; Intoxicated, the valley is filled with orchids; Bless a friend, it is you who smiles at the text message!

16, the wonderful party arrived as scheduled, like a meaningful lyric hanging on a tired guitar. The past has become a distant song, always appearing in the sunset days … I am always worried about you, my friend! Have a happy day!

17, friends are lights, dispelling loneliness and illuminating expectations; Friends are tea, which filters impetuousness and stores tranquility; A friend is water, which nourishes for a while and keeps fresh for a lifetime; Friends are sugar, which dilutes bitterness and is full of sweetness.

18, go, go, people always have to learn to grow, go, go, and life will inevitably experience painful struggles. Come on, come on, find yourself another home. I have been sad, tearful and heartbroken. This is the price of oil.

19, Liu Huan: watch the ball, football stars join Beidou and have a bowl of wine before kicking the ball; Say lose and lose. You stink, I stink, and the money in the wine doesn't look back. When you see a beautiful girl growling on the road, it's time to shoot. The wind blows to kick Kyushu.

20. When I came home from my holiday, my grandfather was watching TV and wanted to take a photo with him. My grandfather doesn't take pictures very much, and his face is serious. I said, "Grandpa, you are so cute ~", but I saw Grandpa raise his hand to cover half of his face and said faintly, "Why are you a little blind?" I laughed to death.

2 1, can you lend me a dollar? I don't think a small pudding is enough. I also want to buy a pack of spicy strips.

22. Life is like an angry bird. There are always a few pigs laughing when they fail.

23. A lady is complaining about the crowded bus now, which makes them very miserable. One said, "I'm really unlucky!" I was squeezed in the car. " One said, "I'm unlucky!" The car is so crowded that I'm pregnant. "

24. I am online, you are offline, I leave, you wait, how long can we connect forever!

25. You look really angry. You didn't even call. You are better than me this time. I'm sorry, please forgive me if I have gone too far.

26. Meeting you is unintentional, knowing you is providence, and thinking of you is family; I am half-hearted when I don't see you, and I am single-minded when I see you; If you quit one day, at least there are memories.

27. I am not perfect, but I am real. I am not rich, but I am happy; I am not sentimental, but I know how to cherish.

28. I know you hate loneliness after work, and I know you are afraid of loneliness at home. I also want to be with you forever, as long as you are willing!

29. You are not there when I miss you, you ignore when I love you, you don't come when I want you, and you avoid when I chase you. -you said I don't go to hell who go to hell! ?

30. A first-class man has a home outside, a second-class man has flowers outside, a third-class man looks for flowers outside, a fourth-class man comes home from work, a fifth-class man's wife doesn't go home, a sixth-class man can't find a home, and a seventh-class man commits suicide by jumping off a building.

3 1. First-class men spend women's money, second-class men win money, third-class men steal money, fourth-class men spend wages, and fifth-class men spend wives' money.

32. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so don't look for them at work. The quantity is small and the quality is not good!

33. Stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love.

34. The wife should follow when she goes out, obey her orders, and blindly follow if she is wrong; The wife has to wait for makeup, remember her birthday, be willing to spend money, and endure beatings.

35. Love at first sight, goodbye infatuation. Take pains to win people's hearts all day. I took great pains to urge my heart. Don't you understand my heart!

36. Note: You have sent yellow text messages for many times in a row, and this bureau officially warns you! If it is found again, it will stop using it immediately and post the reimbursement number. Please be self-disciplined

37. The first year: He said and she listened. The following year: She said and he listened. The third year: they said that the neighbors listened.

38. Husband: "You are so hateful! You cut your hair without consulting me. What? " Wife: "You went bald without consulting me. What? "

39. Don't call your child "Bunny", because from a genetic point of view, it is not good for parents.

40. congratulations You won the first prize of our company, 200,000 yuan. Please bring a bulletproof mask to the parity cashier to get the bonus with the password. The password is "take out the money"!

4 1. Which is better, love or corn porridge? It seems that love is beautiful, but it is not: after all, nothing is better than love, and a bowl of corn porridge is better than anything, so corn porridge is better than love!

42. First love: I only have her in my heart. Madly in love: my mother told me to go east, and my wife told me to go west; Lovelorn to the west: my lover is married, and the groom is not me.

Nurse: Who are you going to write to? Patient: Write it to myself! Nurse: Then what do you write? Patient: You are mentally ill! ! I haven't received it. How do I know?

44. Urgent notice from the Ministry of Health: Due to the recent widespread epidemic of foot-and-mouth disease, please pay attention to the cleanliness of limbs to avoid infection!

45. Pay all wages, including unplanned wages; All leftovers are contracted, including spoilage; Do all the housework, including mother-in-law's; Thoughts are reported every day, including a flash of thought.

46. The person I love has been taken away, and the person who loves me is terrible, either deteriorating in debauchery or perverting in silence. -For Valentine's Day!

47. The eagle chased the rabbit, but because of the rabbit's words, it fell and died. Do you know what the rabbit said? It shouted, you're not wearing a bra! Hearing this, the eagle quickly covered his chest. As a result, ...

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