After being blindly dated, my dad wants to sever the father-daughter relationship with me!

What is the best situation you can imagine for two people together?

We have long passed the age of caring for husbands and raising children, and we have also passed the age of youth and ignorance when we heard about love. We pursue equality, pursue enjoyment, pursue natural growth that is not overly expected, and pursue Freedom from being restrained, and feelings that are not made public or judged. We selfishly pursue love like a ghost, but we never get it.

(1)

I met Mr. Z when I went to my aunt’s house to pay New Year greetings on the third day of the Lunar New Year. His house was next door, and my aunt intentionally introduced us to each other. I was blindly dated like this. .

It’s not like I haven’t had this experience before, but in order to satisfy the matchmaking nature of my three aunts and six wives, I just met them and saw them all over. But this time, it was a little different. When Z heard me talk about his experiences in various cities in order to avoid the two of us being too embarrassed, he had a good impression on me.

In fact, I graduated from college a year and a half ago. I traveled from Wuhan to Shenzhen and was busy with work every day. I often worked overtime at night and on holidays. I didn’t have time to satisfy my wandering heart’s yearning for the world, so I chose to choose a university. I was chatting with my best friend and roommate about skipping school and traveling on a budget.

Mr. Z is tall and thin, wearing bookish glasses. He majors in computer science. He talks little and is shy. He looks dull and honest. He is a typical engineering otaku. Because of this, he was somewhat inquiring and curious about my restless and self-reliant nature, which I like to play around. According to him, he also has a wandering heart, but he has never had the opportunity to see the world.

I personally thought it was just a formality to show off to my aunt, and there would be no more intersections in the future. Unexpectedly, Mr. Z said that he wanted to come to our house to pay New Year greetings in the next two days. The way to have a blind date at our place during the New Year is nothing more than a matchmaker introducing the man to the woman’s house to pick up a gift and have a meal. There are even many different boys who go there every day without interruption. Girls home.

At that time, there was a lot of talk about a Shanghai girl and her boyfriend going back to their rural home to celebrate the New Year and escaping at the dinner table. I took a screenshot of it and asked Mr. Z what he thought of this. I forgot his answer. Mr. Z came to our house two days later and gave us a meeting gift.

I grew up in a rural area, and it was difficult for my family to support me and my younger brother through college, so my family was in a poor financial situation. An old house built in the 1980s, with red bricks, loess and black tiles. It leaks when it rains. The ash on the walls peels off badly, and white patches are black. Moss grows on the corners of the walls. Firewood is burning in the kitchen. The wooden doors in front of and behind the rent are The latch was broken, and it made a squeaking sound when the door was closed. It would be an exaggeration to describe the house as bare-walled.

Under such an environment, Mr. Z came to our house and had several meals. The first time, my aunt acted as a matchmaker and brought him along. He was silent and reserved, not the kind of person who could talk in a lively atmosphere. During the meal, we only heard about the quarrels of the elders, so we finished the meal quietly.

It was around the Chinese New Year. I happened to be going to my relatives’ house in the city to pay New Year greetings. Their high school classmates had a reunion. After dinner, we took the bus to the city together. Their family has a car, but he doesn't drive it often and is not very skilled at it, so he only drives it around the house and doesn't go directly to the city.

The world is small, but we can’t meet it sooner before the time comes. Mr. Z has a good friend who is my classmate, and he has a classmate from elementary school who is my best friend’s boyfriend. Our high school went to the same city's key middle school, and we were in the same building as our first year of high school. Their class was upstairs from mine. With so many coincidences and having the same friends, I felt that we were somehow destined.

He said that although his family is better off now, it was difficult when he was a child. He also often said that he spent most of his time at home by himself since he was a child, and no one cared about him. He especially envied our family, where the whole family, old and young, ate together, which was warm and lively.

The story of the 2016 Spring Festival comes to an end. Mr. Z and I met two or three times during this period, and he always took the initiative. The most impressive time was when I was having a party with some junior high school friends one day. He happened to be nearby and kept asking to come over and get to know my friends. I have always felt that an introverted person like him was extremely enthusiastic and proactive in the following similar incidents. Our classmates have a reunion once a year. After three rounds of drinking, we were all drunk. Finally, it was getting dark and he came to take me home.

That day happened to be Valentine's Day, and he even bought a thermos cup as a gift for me. I admit, this was already a surprise for me, who has been single for ten thousand years. I'm a drinker but not an alcoholic. During my college years, I was fascinated by the bold and graceful poetry of the Tang, Song, Yuan and Qing dynasties. I developed a good drinking courage. After drinking, I would always make up a few sour poems. No matter what situation I was in, I could always stumble and touch something. Way back. It was already February, and the winter rain was pouring down. I was feeling dizzy along the way. I only remembered that he walked with me for a long time at night under an umbrella. I didn’t know what we talked about in such a mess. I only remembered that After arriving home, he went to the kitchen and brought me a bowl of porridge. I just remembered that I woke up drunk in the early hours of the night and composed a poem for him. As follows:

The wine is drunk and the sun is late, and we know each other well. The spring breeze blows, and the silk is ten miles away. It’s a long road without realizing it, and the night is like weaving. When you first hear people talk, you know people's words, and when you know people, you know.

A dream like this, I will say goodbye in the morning. Waking up for no reason, when the child is sleeping ugly. The Duke of Zhou explains what is happening outside of his body. Half a cup of tea, half a table, half a poem. ?

(2)

The world is real and fake, we are fake and real, and the play is over. It was expected that the relationship between Mr. Z and I will not last long. As it turns out, it's not that simple.

In 2016, I was in Shenzhen and Mr. Z was in Wuhan.

In June, he resigned from Wuhan and went to work in Shanghai. As for why he went to Shanghai instead of Shenzhen, Mr. Z’s explanation was that he had many friends in Shanghai. After settling in Shanghai, he took the time to come to Shenzhen. Mr. Z didn’t have any other friends in Shenzhen. He said he just came here simply to see me.

From college to now, people around me have come out to say they like me intermittently, but most of the phone calls, text messages, and QQ bombardments have said nothing. No one has traveled a long distance to stand in front of me and say that they like me. words, or say nothing at all, just traveling thousands of miles to see each other.

I asked Mr. Z for his opinion, and he said he had never been to Shenzhen and was not familiar with it, so I booked him a hotel near my residence in advance. He came over by train and arrived at about seven or eight in the morning. I was waiting for him at the subway exit. I hadn’t seen him for four months, and the strangeness still made me feel quite constrained.

I don’t know how a person who is not good at expressing usually expresses his love. It may be silent, deserted, domineering, or just plain and never forget, playing out his inner drama.

Mr. Z is still as seen at first sight. He is not good at words and cannot express himself. In other words, he doesn’t really miss him much, so he doesn’t think about it often.

During these four months, we contacted each other once or twice a month, chatting about work and life. Most of the time I work very busy, I often work overtime. It is a common thing to go out with my colleagues in the middle of the night. I often read books on the weekend. He has a relatively leisurely job, commuting to and from get off work on time, and usually staying at home on weekends. The two of them are in this state for so long that they often can't remember the last time they contacted each other.

It’s the Dragon Boat Festival, and it’s rare that I don’t work overtime during the long holiday. He stayed in Shenzhen for three days, and I accompanied him on a three-day tour of Shenzhen as a landlord.

Accompany him to visit the mangroves on the first day. It was already afternoon. We walked slowly on the long road and talked many words in a shallow way. Along the long coastline, the sea breeze, mixed with the laughter of children around you, comes to you. I told him that this is a must-see place for many people coming to Shenzhen. When the sky is clear, you can see Hong Kong across the street. But that day was still cloudy, with dark clouds in the sky, as if it might rain at any time.

The next day Mr. Z accompanied me to the Grand Canyon in OCT East. He said he accompanied me because I like to play with heartbeats. In real life, Mr. Z is taciturn and rather sullen. He doesn’t like heart-racing sports like roller coasters and rapids. But he went and played many exciting activities with me. He was also very patient in arranging activities with many people. The queue lasted more than an hour. After playing in the rapids, he came down and sat on the edge. His clothes were wet from the water, but he was still as happy as a child. Later, he even offered to say that he wanted to play again. The weather in Shenzhen is changeable. The sun was still shining in the morning, but it started to rain again in the afternoon. Many recreational facilities had to be closed, so we left the Grand Canyon early. Knowing that he had never seen the sea and wanted to see the sea, we went straight to Dameisha after leaving the OCT in the East. Mr. Z happily took off his shoes and socks, touched crabs, chased the water and rode the waves, and had a great time.

Perhaps, the right life does not necessarily have to have the same interests and hobbies, someone who can accompany you without being arrogant or arrogant, someone who is willing to try more possibilities for you, and someone who can face this complicated world with the same indifference. , is it not a rare thing.

On the third day, we climbed to the top of Lotus Mountain and wandered around the Shenzhen Museum and Shenzhen Library. I have a habit of visiting any new city’s museums. This is probably the best way to understand the history of a city. The Suzhou Museum designed by Lu Ming Pei uses walls as paper and stones as paintings. The stone rockery is staggered at different heights. Under the trees and flowers, a pool of clear water, and the misty rain from the south, it creates the beauty of the artistic conception of oriental ink landscape painting. It is still unforgettable. . Therefore, although Shenzhen only has a history of more than 30 years, the museum is still a must-see in my opinion. Mr. Z has no objection to the comparison. It is rare for anyone to agree with this point, but I am more optimistic about him.

We ate, drank, and walked around. I took him to eat Shenzhen special morning tea, casserole porridge, and Chaoshan beef hotpot. He took the initiative to help me carry my bags and hold an umbrella. From this point of view, Mr. Z’s three-day trip to Shenzhen was very enjoyable. Complete. After the trip to Shenzhen, he returned to Shanghai, and we returned to a new round of contact once a month or even several months.

(3)

Sometimes we fall into a contradictory situation. What is the unclear, awkward relationship between Mr. Z and I? But some people say that the most beautiful stage of love is when I know you like me and I also have a crush on you, but there is no ambiguous period of mutual explanation. Although, I didn't feel that we were ambiguous, but there was a tacit understanding between gentlemen that was as light as water.

Goodbye again a few months later. Mr. Z had been working in Shanghai for several months but was still not used to it. In addition, he had a friend who was planning to start a business and hoped that he would go back and give him full support, so he returned to Wuhan in October. I don't quite understand this feeling. I stayed in Shenzhen for three years and developed a body of steel and iron. The only thing I can't go back to is my hometown.

On the Chinese Valentine's Day of the Lunar New Year, Mr. Z gave me a book and made a webpage using photos from our three-day trip to Shenzhen in June, and packaged it together to give it to me. The unique romantic expression of a man majoring in science and IT still deeply touched my girlish heart.

In mid-October, my college roommate got married in my hometown in Hubei. It happened to be a Sunday wedding, and other friends in my dormitory all traveled far and wide to congratulate me. I took leave and took advantage of the weekend to go back to Wuhan. The train arrived at Wuchang Station at around six in the morning. I made an appointment with my friends in Wuhan and Guangzhou for lunch and set off from Hankou Railway Station to Xiangyang in the afternoon.

It was already cool in Wuhan in October. Everyone wore long sleeves in the morning, and some wore jackets. Fortunately, I was prepared in advance, so I didn’t have to sit on the train all night and be too embarrassed when I got off. Mr. Z came to pick me up early in the morning. He lives alone in his own home in Wuhan. Although it is not far from the station, I am still very touched that someone got up so early to greet me. I went into KFC to order some coffee and sat there waiting for him to come over. When I was about to pay the bill, he came and looked in the direction where I was with a tacit understanding. The moment I looked back, we smiled at each other, the world stopped, and our eyes were filled with emotion. Just each other.

I have plenty of time. I have not been back to school in the past three years and I want to go back to my alma mater to visit. He is happy to accompany me. I got on the only double-decker bus that went to and from the school. I was still building the same building as three years ago. I walked through the Nanmen Commercial Street countless times, walked past the playground where three-step layups were practiced, and walked past No. 1 and 2 of the European-style building. I walked through the teaching building, the library, Lover's Slope, the back hill of the school where Mandarin is practiced, the Sanjian Pond where the commemorative video was shot, the canteens of the East and West Districts, and the groves where I admired cherry blossoms, sweet-scented osmanthus, and plum blossoms. I sneaked into the dormitory where I had lived for four years. The Doraemon and Nobita painted with art class brushes on the door were still there. I added some colors to them before I left, but they had faded away after three years. The moment I came out of the dormitory, it was like going back in time. Like most girls, there was a boy waiting for me so seriously downstairs in the dormitory.

It’s not easy to make an appointment to have dinner with your college roommates. We didn’t see each other once a year, so we made the appointment from Yi Fang City to Wuguang, and then to the underground commercial street of Hankou Railway Station. Just like the procrastination in school days, there is no time. It was a simple and casual meal, not delicious, but Mr. Z was polite and considerate in front of my friends. My roommates joked, "W (referring to me) is the most beautiful in our dormitory. I finally paid back the meal you owed us in college." .

There was an unconventional tradition in college. The boyfriends of every girl in the dormitory invited us to dinner. I was the only one who stayed alone for four years in college. I indulged in novels every day, drank wine and wrote sour words and sad sentences. Spend the day.

Mr. Z told me that he had nothing to do on the weekend anyway and wanted to go with me. I had met L (my roommate who got married) in Shenzhen before, so it was normal to attend the wedding. I refused because we finally meet our dormitory besties once a year and there must be endless things to say and I don’t have time to take care of you. Although my roommates who were not too concerned about the excitement encouraged us all the way, Mr. Z did not go with us in the end.

After attending the wedding on Sunday, I caught the evening flight and flew back to Guangdong overnight. I didn’t have time to say goodbye to Mr. Z!

(4)

It’s the end of 2016. According to the habit of previous years, I always pass through Wuhan, stay for a few days, see old friends and then go home to celebrate the Spring Festival. This year was no exception. I walked out of Wuchang Station with a heavy suitcase at around two in the morning, took a taxi and went straight to the hotel I had booked in advance on Jianghan Road. I didn’t tell Mr. Z when I would arrive.

In the middle, there is another story.

In 2016, almost three years after I graduated, my family did not have to pay for my tuition and living expenses. I also paid for all the expenses for my brother’s college education. My father resigned and returned home, using the money he had on hand plus money from relatives. He pieced together things here and there and built a house with all his heart and soul. Mr. Z's father is in the building materials and decoration business in our area. My father has been at home for a year, and I have asked Mr. Z's father for all the decoration of my house. The two of them are already biological parents. During this period, my father asked my opinion whether we should let Mr. Z’s father help us decorate our home. I said no with all my heart. Z and I have no established relationship, and it is not easy to get involved in disputes over financial interests. Such a relationship is not pure at all. . To put it mildly, my father is simply selling his daughter. My dad often calls me to ask how you and Mr. Z are doing, have you been in contact or anything.

This seems to be a relationship based on marriage. However, in my opinion, Mr. Z and I have never confirmed our relationship. Let alone words like "like", we even held hands, hugged, and kissed. Nothing exists, and the invisible gap between them remains insurmountable. However, in imagination, close contact between two people in love is indispensable. I was very disgusted in this kind of family-like situation of being loved, and I got into trouble with my dad several times because of this.

My family leaked the news to Mr. Z about when I would return home and pass by Wuhan. Mr. Z is a silent and timid character. He would tell me all about what gifts to give me for my birthday. Tell my family, since everyone in my family knows about it from Mr. Z’s father.

Mr. Z rarely takes the initiative to contact me, but as soon as I appear next to him, he will be extremely proactive. I have the habit of posting on Weibo and writing diaries. When Mr. Z knew that I had arrived in Wuhan, he said he wanted to meet and asked me when I would go home. We could go back together. I said that I had made an appointment with friends in the evening and had bought a ticket to go home. Yes, he said that he would go if I told him the time and place. He said that he had already been on vacation and would wait for me to go back together.

My psychology is somewhat contradictory. On the one hand, I want to keep a distance and don’t want Mr. Z to have too much contact with my circle. On the other hand, I want him to meet my friends and let my best friends help me. Check your tone of voice and judge whether the relationship that has not yet begun is worth continuing.

Friends who hadn’t seen each other for a long time were chattering away. After dinner, they continued to visit the Jianghan Road Night Market with great interest. They fell in love with a pair of earrings and bought the same style as they did in college. It was too late to go shopping, so two of them went back to the hotel with me to have a sleep-talking session, while the rest caught the last train back. Y (one of the college roommates) and Mr. Z stopped by and said insinuatingly that many people are chasing me. Z, you should work hard to catch W (referring to me) as soon as possible!

(5)

I got up early and went to the old alley on Jianghan Road before going back. I sat down at the old-fashioned table set up by the stall owner, 4 yuan. A bowl of hot dry noodles and soup noodles, paired with eggnog, is countless times more delicious than the breakfast in Shenzhen. It is very satisfying. There is another reason why I got up early. Mr. Z’s birthday happened to be during the Spring Festival. I took my friend and walked through Jiqing Street to Dazhi Road to pick out a birthday gift for him. When reciprocating, etiquette is indispensable.

During the three-hour bus ride home, we chatted intermittently for a while, and then fell asleep.

When we arrived at the station, I called my third uncle at home to drive over to pick me up, and Mr. Z called his father to come over and pick him up. I left before him. When I returned, my dad complained to me, why didn’t I bring Mr. Z back with me? I refute what kind of relationship they have with you and why they want to go home together. This is the beginning of an unhappy breakup.

Mr. Z sent me a message in the evening, saying that he would come to your house tomorrow!

Before this, we reached a tacit understanding that getting along is a matter between two people. We should not involve our families and avoid going to each other's homes. That's why I asked him not to come. We can go out and meet when we have time. As a result, Mr. Z and his father came to our house in the morning and paid a visit with a bunch of cigarettes and alcoholic gifts.

My parents were beaming with joy, but I kept a straight face and didn’t know how to deal with it. Our house has just been renovated, and we inevitably have to clean it when we get home. Mr. Z volunteered to help, busy wiping the doors, windows, tables and chairs. At this moment, my father must be secretly happy, as if his father-in-law looks at his son-in-law, and the more he looks at him, the more he likes him. And I am getting more and more confused.

Returning home for the New Year, routine matters, renewing the Hong Kong and Macao passes, several high school reunions, visiting relatives and friends, and the whole family taking turns to have New Year's Eve dinner.

Because of Mr. Z’s appearance, this year is a little different.

Mr. Z’s parents felt that after we had been together for a year, it was time to go to their house for a New Year’s dinner, but I refused.

My parents felt that after we had been together for a year, it was time to invite Mr. Z’s family to a banquet at our new home. The handwritten invitation clearly said in-laws, but I refused.

Mr. Z’s parents and my parents felt that after we had been together for a year, it was time to settle down and get engaged. I strongly refused.

I refuse to go to Mr. Z’s house for the New Year dinner. In our hometown, it is customary for male and female friends to have New Year's Eve dinner at each other's homes only after they have successfully dated or are confirmed to be together. In my understanding, we are still in a long period of getting along, and the time to go to his house for the New Year dinner has not yet come. We agreed online the night before yesterday that I would take care of my parents and he would take care of his parents, so don't rush it. But just after breakfast the next day, he showed up at our house and said he would pick me up for dinner. Mr. Z's cowardice was clearly exposed at this time, and I was furious with him, but when my family saw him coming, they all turned the tables. "You have been together for a year, and you have to make your parents feel at ease." "It's just a meal, and it's not a big deal to come back after eating." "I've read so many books in vain. This is the point. I don’t even know how to be polite. “I was 24 years old in my birth year, and even if I was 18, I wouldn’t be that easy to deceive.

Under the instigation of both sides, I raised my flag and surrendered, and went to eat the meal that was the cause of all disasters.

After two days like this, my dad took advantage of me not paying attention and called Mr. Z’s parents. The two families got together one night and asked me if I wanted to settle. Under attack, I cried and said I didn't want to, and my dad started to scold me as a broom star, a loser, and all kinds of things like severing the relationship between father and daughter. In anger, I almost ran away from home with my suitcase.

It was the Dragon Boat Festival of 2017 when I said goodbye to Mr. Z completely. I learned that I had returned home from Shenzhen and that he had also returned from Wuhan. After I expressed that I did not want him to come to our house, I could meet him if he wanted to. After we went out, he still came. After lunch, I calmly said that we should not contact him again. Since then, my dad has never given me a good look.

I hope I have the luck and confidence to be happy, and I hope my future will not be arranged by my family.