The man I have loved for 10 years is finally getting married.

Text/Xu Tingsu

01

"I woke up suddenly. I just dreamed of you. How are you doing? I heard Xiao Zhen mention it a few days ago. You, say you are not doing well, I hope you are doing well. "

I was about to turn off my phone and go to sleep, when I suddenly saw a text message like this at the top of my phone screen, and that number. It has long been known by heart. Apart from my parents’ numbers, this is the only number I can remember.

Such a text message is like a stone thrown across the calm lake surface, causing ripples to appear in circles, and it cannot be calm for a long time.

How should I reply? That person has long been engraved in my bones and flowing in my blood. I have been unable to eliminate him from my life.

"Mu Chuan, long time no see. I'm fine. How about you? How are you doing?" I typed and deleted these words several times. I love Mu Chuan ten times. year man.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry. I miss you so much that I can't help disturbing you. You have to live a good life so that you won't live up to my interruption. I shouldn't send you text messages." Yes, I don’t know if it’s right or not. Xiaozhen told me that you’re not doing well. I’ve been wondering how you are doing. "

"Hahaha, just ignore that damn girl Xiaozhen. One day. Nonsense, I am living a good life, and you must also be living a good life, so that you can be worthy of me not disturbing you these past few years. "Actually, my past few years without you have not been good at all. I miss you very much, but. No one knows that I miss you. Everyone may think that I have forgotten you. In fact, only I know that you are in my bones and blood.

Mu Chuan and I were classmates in junior high school. It can also be said that we were childhood sweethearts. However, childhood sweethearts are no longer four words, but childhood sweethearts and childhood sweethearts. The two words separated mean the two who want to be separated. From now on, individuals live in separate places and live their own lives.

We chatted on and off until about three o'clock in the morning. Muchuan said that his mobile phone was almost out of battery, with only 1% left. If he didn't reply to me after a while, he would let me go to bed first. I agreed.

I checked the high-speed train tickets from Changsha to Zhengzhou. I had wanted to see him for a long time, but I didn’t know why I went to see him, so I decisively bought the high-speed train at 2pm the next day. I bought a high-speed rail ticket and I will arrive in Zhengzhou at 4:30 tomorrow afternoon. I left as soon as I said it. I have only been crazy for him in this life. The memories of my youth are all about him.

Mu Chuan might have been stunned for a while and said to me that I would wait for you, Ning'er.

"Aren't you surprised? Muchuan" I asked him.

"Ning'er, how could I not be surprised. I was shocked when I just saw you sending me the screenshot. I just said I miss you and you come to my city to find me." "I'm dead."

Mu Chuan then said, "Ning'er, please rest quickly. It's too late. It's all because I sent you messages late at night, keeping you awake, and I suddenly wanted to come to Zhengzhou." Look at me, I'll wait for you tomorrow. You go to sleep for a while. My phone has been turned off. Now the power is out at home and I can only charge it tomorrow. "

I said yes. I casually slept for a while, but I couldn't fall asleep anymore. I tossed and turned until I fell asleep at 4:30 in the morning. After sleeping for a few hours, I got up, packed up, and set off to the high-speed rail station to rush to your city.

02.

I looked at the retreating scenery outside the car window, and my memories suddenly returned to the 7 years that Muchuan and I were in love and the 3 years that we were separated. When I was very young, I grew up with Muchuan. Muchuan was a very stable man, and I was a carefree girl. But in front of Muchuan, I will always be just his little princess.

We were officially together in high school. Because I was very good in studies, I entered the best high school in our city, while Muchuan went to the second high school in our city because of the difference in scores. The distance between them is not very far. Just not in the same school anymore.

We still go out to play on weekends as before. On weekends, I will tell Muchuan all the things that happened during the week. Muchuan has always been very important in my heart, but at that time I didn’t I don’t know what my feelings are towards Muchuan.

The big brother next door? Green plum and foot horse? Lan Yan’s confidant?

Until one day a boy in school confessed to me, and then I stupidly asked Muchuan what to do. Muchuan said he was not allowed to agree, and I asked why? He is very good to me.

Muchuan said come out on the weekend and I will tell you why.

After looking forward and looking forward, I finally arrived at the day when I could go out of school on the weekend. Muchuan came to school to pick me up and took me to the suburbs. In the suburbs, I saw a large field of beautiful rapeseed flowers. It was so beautiful that I couldn't believe it. I dragged Muchuan around inside and asked Muchuan to take a lot of photos for me.

Just when I was looking at the photo, Muchuan raised my face and told me Ning'er, I don't allow you to date other boys. You are mine and you can only be with me in this life. Would you like to?

I stared blankly at Mu Chuan, who was nodding his head. I felt that my heart was beating so fast. The sun was just right that day, and rapeseed flowers were everywhere. Mu Chuan’s skin looked whiter when he wore a white shirt. , I think there is no better-looking boy in the world than Muchuan.

Mu Chuan raised my chin and kissed me suddenly. I was suddenly stunned and accepted this sweet first kiss in a daze. My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.

The breeze blows gently, and it seems that even the rapeseed flowers are full of the flavor of love.

I think it may have been from that afternoon that this man was engraved in my heart and flowed into my blood.

He and Muchuan have been almost inseparable on the same campus since he was a child. After high school branched out, he suddenly felt uncomfortable. After Muchuan confessed, he missed Muchuan even more deeply, and most of the time he and Muchuan were together. I was talking and he was listening.

So at my strong request, I asked Muchuan to write to me every week. Of course, as a reward, I also wrote to him. Every week we would exchange a letter. When we graduated, I have a box full of letters written by Mu Chuan, and warm, sweet and funny photo albums we took together. These are the motivation that kept me going during my most difficult time.

In the three years of high school, we encouraged each other to look at universities in the same city together, so Muchuan has been working hard to catch up with me, and I have also been working hard for our beautiful goal.

But there are always some surprises in life that you cannot predict. Yes, Muchuan failed the college entrance examination, so when I was filling out my application form, in order to let him apply for a school that was good to him, I said you should leave me alone. , you can fill it out yourself, and then Muchuan still filled in the same city as me for the first two schools, but the first two choices were rejected, so I went to Changsha, and he went to Zhengzhou.

Although he was sad, Muchuan promised me that he would visit me often, and we were not very far apart.

As long as there is a holiday, Muchuan will travel more than 800 kilometers by train to see me, or I will go to see him, so we meet at least twice a month. Since I am relatively busy, most of the time Muchuan came to see me all the time, and hundreds of train tickets connected our love. It also witnessed the time we spent together.

On my 20th birthday in my sophomore year, Mu Chuan said that he might not be able to come to Changsha to accompany me and let me spend it with my roommate. I felt a little disappointed, but I could understand him.

My roommates and I went to KTV to sing together. Just before 11:30, my roommates all said they wanted to go get something together. I sat alone in the private room and felt very depressed. Because this is the only birthday of mine that Muchuan is absent from, and he is so busy that Muchuan has not sent me a single message.

Just when I thought I was really going to be alone, someone suddenly opened the door and came in. It was Mu Chuan who came in carrying a birthday cake and said happy birthday to my baby Ning'er.

I couldn’t believe this was true. I covered my face with tears in my eyes. Because I saw the dark circles under Muchuan’s eyes, I realized that this was done to me in collusion with his roommate. surprise.

I hugged him and said I thought you wouldn’t come. Mu Chuan said how could I be absent from my Ning’er’s birthday? I will participate in every birthday of our Ning’er.

After celebrating my birthday that day, my roommates went back to the dormitory, and Muchuan and I booked a hotel nearby. After taking a shower, Muchuan hugged me and said, Ning'er, thank you.

I smiled in Muchuan’s arms and raised my head and asked him what he was thanking me for.

Mu Chuan said thank you for trusting me, waiting for me, and staying with me for so long. You are my life in this life, I can't escape.

In fact, Muchuan is not my life. I said that my greatest happiness in Muchuan's life is meeting you, and I can't escape either.

Muchuan is a gentleman. Many friends in college will have sex with each other in the future. However, Muchuan and I have been together for so many years, and he has never touched me. He only hugs me every time. Go to sleep, and then I always move around. Muchuan said, little girl, don’t move around and sleep well, if you move I will eat you.

I said to Mu Chuan, I am 20 years old. Let’s get married after we graduate in two years, okay?

Mu Chuan agreed. Ning'er, I will definitely give you the best. If I can't give you the best, and I can't give you happiness, I will never marry you.

I'm sorry, long-distance relationship is so painful but I'm not by your side. I'm not by your side when you have menstrual cramps. I may not be by your side when you feel uncomfortable. Thank you for persisting in long-distance relationship despite being so tiring.

I said I'm not tired. It's sweet to have you here. More than 800 kilometers is not a distance. I am 20 years old and I have known you for so many years. At least half of my life is about you.

When I asked Muchuan to hold me and kiss me again, I could clearly feel his body shaking. His body is so eager to have me, but he can hold it back for me. He said that I don’t want you until he can’t give you protection. I’m afraid that if I can’t give you happiness in the future, it will hurt you. Be good, don't move and sleep well.

If a man likes you, he may be able to sleep with you, but if a man loves you, he may resist sleeping with you for the sake of love. Love can be divided into many types, but this kind of love must be love to the bones and blood.

03.

When I was about to graduate in my senior year, my family wanted to send me to the UK to study for graduate school. On the one hand, I really wanted to go there and continue my studies, but on the other hand, I I want to stay with Mr. Mu who is reluctant to leave me, just by his side.

Then when Muchuan found out, she said, Ning'er, go ahead and I'll wait for you to come back. Don't let your uncles and aunts worry about you. You are so good that you should go. I don't want you to have any regrets because of me in the future.

The most beautiful love words in the world are not that I love you, but that I am willing to wait for you.

Later, due to various reasons, I went to the UK. At first, my life abroad was full of discomfort. I missed Mu Chuan even more. We talked on the phone every day and had video calls every day. When I wanted to go to bed, Mu Chuan Chuan just got up.

No matter what happens, we will video chat. Mr. Mu could not be more kind to me. Mr. Mu has found a satisfactory job. He said he is working hard to give me a bright future and wait for me to come back.

But the distance of more than 10,000 kilometers still caused us problems. During my time in the UK, I had to complete all kinds of intense studies every day. My English was finally able to gradually adapt to the professors' courses. Long-distance relationships are really tiring. When I'm in pain, I can't hold or touch them, and I shed tears. There is no time to lean on your shoulders.

Finally, eight months after I left, many, many things happened. Let me talk about Muchuan, I am so tired, let’s break up! Long-distance relationships are tiring, but long-distance relationships are even more tiring. I love you but I’m too tired. I want to take a break for a while. Let’s leave it at that!

Mu Chuan was silent for a while, Ning'er, I support you in whatever you want to do, and I will still wait for you to come back.

Later on, I began to lose contact with Muchuan. I thought we were like crossed lines, having a focus and then going in our own directions.

Those vows we have made are like poison, always reminding me of his past. The sweeter they are, the more arrows can pierce my heart.

After returning to China, Muchuan stopped contacting me, and I stopped contacting him. It was like we had a tacit agreement not to contact or mention each other.

Later I chose to work in a foreign company in Changsha. In the past few years, many boys have chased me, but there is no room for anyone in my heart, and there is no one like you.

Every place in Changsha seems to have traces of you. You once held my hand and pressed the road on the street. There were laughter and laughter between you and me in the subway. This city is all about you. shadow.

A few months ago I told Xiaozhen that I missed him, and I really missed him.

Why doesn't he contact me almost two years after I came back? Has he really started over after four years? Did you say you would wait for me when I came back?

Xiao Zhen said, then you call him. I said I called him once and found that he had changed his number. WeChat QQ also deleted me. I don’t know why. You said he Have you fallen in love with a girl? Xiaozhen told me that she didn't know much about his current situation. He had little contact with all the friends in our circle.

It’s been three years, and I really want to ask you why you don’t contact me? Even if I broke up willfully at the beginning, did you lie to me again when you said you would never leave me until death and were willing to wait for me to come back?

Today I am finally going to your city. I can finally ask you if you have forgotten me in these years.

04.

The high-speed train ride from Changsha to Zhengzhou takes 3 hours and 5 minutes. The song "Memories about Zhengzhou" is still ringing in my ears now. The lyrics are all about Your opportunity.

"I don’t know much about Zhengzhou

I have been there for love

How many times have I passed this city on the train

A person quietly thought of her

She said she liked the winter sunshine in Zhengzhou

The alley was filled with the smell of coal stoves

The mist passed through her young neck

It hasn’t left until today

All I think about Zhengzhou is you

Every time I think about it, I feel regret and grievance

About Zhengzhou, all I love is you

Love comes and goes but I don’t understand the meaning of love

About Zhengzhou, I only think about it occasionally

Now her taste is still in my memory

Every time I talk about my past travels with my friends

I dare not say that I have been there

All I think about Zhengzhou is you

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I think life is nothing but pain and beauty

About Zhengzhou, all I love is you

In the end, we will have nowhere to go

Specious or terrible things in the world

There is love and righteousness but nothing to eat

Time has changed a lot but nothing has changed

Let me hug you again"

I think the lyrics of this song are a reflection of my mood. The memories about Zhengzhou are all about you, and the love about Zhengzhou is all about you. I have no memory of this city, all the memories I have are of you.

I got off the high-speed train and exited the station. I didn’t see you around, but suddenly someone hugged me from behind. This hug was so familiar. I have been thinking about this hug for 3 years. It is exclusive to me. Your taste is so hard to forget.

You hugged me from behind and said, Ning'er, I miss you so much. Why have you lost weight again after not seeing me for a long time? Are you not taking good care of yourself?

This hug and this greeting made my eyes turn red all of a sudden. Yes, it’s been a long time since I last saw you, Muchuan. I hope you are well.

Seeing my jealous look, you scratched my nose and said, why are you still so crying? How can I trust you alone?

You held my hand and took me to eat. After eating, you took me to meet your buddy. I was still thinking about what to say when you introduced me, and then I heard you say something This is my ex-girlfriend. Everyone laughed when they heard this, and I laughed too. There is no such a funny opening line.

You drink, and I play games with you. Even though I never drink, I also drank a few drinks. From your buddy’s mouth, I found out that you love me more deeply than me. You were sick a few years ago. Yes, you are afraid of dragging me down, afraid that I will come back regardless of hearing the news of your illness. Of course your silly girl must live her own life well.

At that time, you gave up on yourself and kept drinking. Without me, you said there would be no sunshine in your world. Later, my buddy led you and said, Muchuan, are you about to give up? If you don't cheer up yourself, who will look for you in the future, you silly girl?

It was these words that pulled you out of the abyss of despair, and you began to cooperate well with treatment and exercise. It originally took two years to recover, but you just recovered in one year, and then exercised and worked hard just to wait for me to come back. It turns out that this is how you have been here in the past few years.

After playing, we returned to your place. As soon as we entered and closed the door, I hugged you and cried. I scolded you, you bastard, why didn’t you tell me anything? Why should one person bear such responsibility? Do you know how much this makes me blame myself, regret and hate myself? You stupid fool...I'm going to hammer you while I'm crying.

Look at me crying and you are at a loss. Quickly say, "I'm sorry Ning'er, don't cry. It's all my fault. I made you sad. But if Ning'er lets me choose again, I will still I would choose this way, Ning'er, you are my life, but I don't want to be a man who drags me down. I said I would give you happiness. If I can't do it, I won't cooperate with you, do you know? You are a choice I will never regret in my life."

Mu Chuan kissed my tears away from my eyes and carefully put me on the bed, for fear of holding them in his mouth. It fell in the palm of my hand.

I put my arms around Muchuan's neck and said, "Mu Chuan, the purpose of my coming today is to put you to sleep. You can't expect me to be responsible for you and let you be such a bastard and not tell me the truth."

Mu Chuan's eyes were suddenly startled and he squinted. Shun Ning'er, do you know that you are saying something dangerous? Are you sure you really want to sleep with me?

I told Mu Chuan, Mu Chuan wants me, I miss you so much.

Mu Chuan said, has Ning'er really decided? Are you sure you won't regret it?

I stared at Muchuan with big eyes and said I was really sure, I have no regrets. I only regret not sleeping with you three years ago before going abroad.

That night Muchuan held me in his arms, his body trembling as it had five years ago. He took off my clothes one by one, touched my body with his generous palms, and kissed me carefully from top to bottom. Everywhere in my body, so tender, that day I finally gave myself to the man I love most in my life.

Mu Chuan wanted me over and over again, as if he wanted to knead me into his bones and make up for the missing thoughts in the past three years. We made love over and over again, and Mu Chuan said in my ear Ning'er, I love you, marry me! After saying that, he took out the ring and handed it to me.

I said yes with red eyes.

This man whom I have loved for two-thirds of my youth has finally fulfilled his promise. People who have loved hard will never forget them. Even if they go round and round, it will still be him.

There are so many people in the world, but I only love you. Everything about Zhengzhou is all about you, and everything about Changsha is all about you. Thank you for loving me for so long.

I heard that the probability of getting back together after a breakup is 82%, but the probability of staying together after getting back together is only 3%, and the remaining 97% will break up again.

And I will get married to my Muchuan next month.

No matter how much time passes, we are still the one we can’t let go of the most in each other’s hearts. It’s him in this life.

I am Susu, a girl who has stories and loves to share them. I don’t eat sweets, and I don’t need to reward them. Giving me a like is the biggest encouragement~