English humorous story grade five

Without you, my world begins to dim; Without you, my way forward is so vague. I regressed. I didn't cherish you last night. So today-I have to buy another pair of glasses instead of you. After losing you, my world is dim. Without you, my road ahead is so vague and at a loss. I regret not cherishing you last night. I'm leaving again today ―― I'll buy you a pair of glasses. Not every flower symbolizes love, but roses can; Not every tree can stand thirst, but poplar can. Not every pig can read short messages, but you can. Congratulations! Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; Not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar can; Not every pig can read text messages, but you did. Congratulations! You may fall from the mountain, you may fall from the tree, but the best way is to fall in love with my love. 1 day You'll be surprised. 2C I'm by your side. I'm laughing, you're laughing. I cried, you and. I'm dreaming, you and me. I'm insisting, you and. I'm ... it's just U & I'm sitting in a mental hospital. One day you will be surprised to find me beside you. You laugh with me, cry with me, dream with me, snuggle with me, and ... it's just that you sit with me in a mental hospital and I (the doctor) examine you (the mental patient). Once god comes to me. Promise me a wish. I ask for world peace. That's impossible, he said. Once, God came to me and granted me a wish. I said I wanted world peace. "That's impossible," he said. Then I asked him to give you the brain. He said, let me try world peace. Then I ask you to be smart. He said, "You'd better let me try to make the world peaceful." Every morning, I pray to God that everyone can have a friend like you ... Every morning, I pray to God: I hope everyone can have a friend like you ... Why am I the only one who supports it ... Why am I the only one who has a friend like you? If you hide, I will come to you. If you get lost, I will look for you. If you leave, I will wait for you. If the days take away four minutes from you, I will fight you for four minutes. If you hide, I will come to you. If you disappear, I will come to you. If you leave, I will wait for you. If the sky takes you away, I will fight for you. But if you stop texting, I will kill you. But if you stop texting, I will kill you. Logical reasoning A fourth-grade teacher is giving her students a logic lesson. "Here's the thing," she said. "A man was standing on a boat in the middle of the river fishing. He lost his balance, fell into the water, started splashing and shouted for help. His wife heard this action and knew that he couldn't swim, so she ran to the shore. Why do you think she ran to the bank? " A girl raised her hand and asked, "Do you want to withdraw all his savings?" The fourth grade teacher of logical reasoning primary school is giving students a logic lesson. She gave an example like this: "There was a case where a man was fishing on a boat in the middle of a river and suddenly lost his center of gravity and fell into the water. So he began to struggle and shouted for help. His wife heard his cry and knew that he couldn't swim, so she hurried to the river. Who can tell me why? " A girl raised her hand and answered, "Are you going to withdraw his deposit?" [Note] In English, besides the familiar "bank", bank also means "river bank". Teacher: 1809 What's the big deal? Little Willie: abraham lincoln was born. Teacher: Correct. And 18 12. What happened? Little Willie: abraham lincoln is celebrating his third birthday. Lincoln's birthday teacher: 1809 What's the big deal? Little Willie: abraham lincoln was born. Teacher: Correct. So what important event happened in 18 12? Little Willie: abraham lincoln celebrated his third birthday. (1) Xiaoming said to the teacher in English class: May I go to the toilet? The teacher said: Go ahead. Xiaoming sat down. After a while, Xiao Ming said to the teacher, May I go to the toilet? The teacher said: Go ahead. Xiaoming sat down again. The classmate next to me couldn't help asking: Didn't you tell the teacher to go to the toilet? Why not go? Xiao Ming said: You didn't hear the teacher say "Fuck you"! (2) A man and a woman in love. The girl was very insecure, so she said to her boyfriend, "Say I love you! ! Say it! Say it! Say it! " The man replied, "I t!" (3) An international student in the United States wants to take an international driver's license. Because I was so nervous during the exam, I saw the marking on the ground turn left. He asked uneasily, Turn left? The invigilator replied: Yes. So he immediately turned right ... someone tried to learn English, and finally he achieved a little success. One day, I accidentally bumped into a foreigner in the street and said, I'm sorry. The foreigner replied, I'm sorry, too. After listening, someone added, I'm sorry, three people. The foreigner was puzzled and asked, What are you sorry for? Some people have no choice but to say, I'm sorry. Investigator: What's your father's name? : little brother: happy! ! Investigator: What's your mother's name? Little brother: Smile! Investigator: Are you kidding? : little brother: no! ! That's my sister! ! I'm kidding! ! //corner.youth.cn/humor/index are all humorous jokes. You can find them yourself. Recommend some articles. I work for 7-up! I work in 7-up company. Four best friends met in the hospital because their wives gave birth to children. The nurse walked up to the first person and said, "Congratulations, you have been admitted." The man said, "That's strange. I'm the manager of the Minnesota Immigration Bureau." After a while, the nurse walked up to the second man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to triplets." Men are like, "Well, strange, I am the director of" three musketeers ". Finally, the nurse walked up to the third person and said, "Congratulations, you got 2 points." . The man said happily, "Ironically, I work in the Four Seasons Hotel." All three of them were happy until they saw their last partner jumping around, cursing God and banging his head against the wall. They asked him what happened, and he replied, "What happened? I work for 7-up! Four good friends met in the hospital, and their wives were having a baby. The nurse came to the first man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to twins." The man said, "It's strange that I'm the manager of the Minnesota Twins." After a while, the nurse came to the second man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to triplets." Men like it very much: "Well, what a coincidence. I .. you got two pairs of twins. " The man said happily, "That's ridiculous. I work in the Four Seasons Hotel." All three of them were happy, but the fourth partner was as anxious as ants on hot bricks, cursing God and banging his head against the wall. They asked him what happened, and he replied, "What happened? I work in Qixi Company! " 500 times 500 times In the traffic court of a big city in the midwest, a young lady was brought before the judge to respond to the ticket she received for running a red light. She explained to the judge that she was a school teacher and asked that her case be dealt with immediately so that she could go to class as soon as possible. There was a flash of fanaticism in the judge's eyes. "You are a school teacher, huh?" He said. "Madam, I will realize my lifelong ambition. Sitting at that table, I wrote' I ran a red light' five times and forgot. " In the traffic court of a big city in the midwest, a young lady was brought before the judge. She was given a ticket for running a red light. The lady explained to the judge that she was a school teacher and asked the judge to deal with her case immediately so that she could go back to class. The judge flashed a sly look in his eyes and said, "Are you a school teacher? Ma 'am, I'm about to realize my lifelong dream. Sit at that table and write down' I drove through a red light' 500 times. "This is not bad, huh? Haha, I didn't understand it all at first.