Joke Collection Website - Blessing messages - Kneel down! ! ! ! The review of any movie (original)
Kneel down! ! ! ! The review of any movie (original)
Life really can't go on. Divorce is the wisest choice for us, and there is no drag of children anyway. On the third day after I said the word divorce, we went to the street to do it.
There is only one problem. After the divorce, we have to live together before she finds a new place.
I think it's funny when I think about it. When we are in love, we are very pure. Although we are not just holding hands and hugging each other, we have never dared to live together. I didn't expect to get divorced now, but I caught up with the new trend.
In a one-bedroom house, two men and women who are no longer husband and wife live together, which is particularly awkward.
on the first night, I took a set of bedding and spread it on the sofa.
the first night, what a comfortable sleep! What a beautiful night when no one is nagging! It's just that if our sofa is a cloth sofa, this wooden sofa makes my neck a little sore when I wake up in the morning.
when I reached the door of the bathroom, I heard the sound of rushing water inside. I don't know when this smelly woman got into the bad habit of taking a bath before going to bed at night and taking a bath after getting up in the morning. Forget it, forget it, I'm used to it anyway. I'll slide the door and go in. I just lifted the toilet to get ready, but I didn't expect her to scream "wow". Early in the morning, it's not a ghost. What do you mean? I was so scared that I peed back. "Didn't you see me in the shower? Are you a man? Did a man come in to relieve himself when a woman was taking a bath? " She lifted the shower curtain, wrapped herself in a bath towel with one hand, and pointed a finger at my nose and began to scold.
"What's your name? Isn't there a shower curtain between us? What can I see about you? It's not the first time I came in to relieve myself when you took a shower. Is it so exaggerated? Besides, I've been watching your body for three years, and I know what it looks like when I close my eyes. Is it worth peeking at? " "You ..." She was speechless with anger. Wrapped in a bath towel, I ran out of the bathroom and heard the bedroom door bang.
bitch! With your smelly temper, see who dares to want you in the future!
I'll go to the bedroom after I'm done. My clothes for work today are still hanging in the cupboard. The dead woman locked the bedroom door. I knocked on the door for a long time, and finally there was a reply, I am getting dressed! Warsong. com;
forget it. I'm divorced anyway. Let her go.
she didn't come out until half an hour later, but she was well dressed with red lips and white skin. Unfortunately, when she left the door, she gave me a hard look and ruined her image. Because this half hour, I was late for work for the first time.
After work, I wandered around the street to kill time. Although it was boring, it was better than looking at her face. So I stayed until nine o'clock. I ate noodles at the corner and went home.
when I entered the house, her old man was sitting in the living room. Seeing me come in, I was still smiling on my face. I sat down in front of her hesitantly. God! She actually made me a cup of tea.
what medicine does she sell in the gourd? I thought of a word: hide a knife in a smile.
"Today, I have thought about it carefully. We are not husband and wife now. Although I am borrowing your house for a month, I think it is better for us to make three chapters in order to avoid unnecessary embarrassment and misunderstanding this month." With that, she gently picked up a piece of paper and waved it in front of me. "Look, if you don't have any comments, then sign a word, one for each of us."
I picked up the paper and looked at it.
article 1: when one party uses the restroom, the other party is not allowed to enter under any pretext;
article 2: one party shall not touch the other's body under any pretext;
......
I counted, and there were as many as 26 sizes.
"No problem, then please sign." She even has a pen ready.
I wanted to be angry with her, but it was unnecessary to think about it. Anyway, it's only a month at most, and patience will pass. I looked at her coldly, picked up my pen and waved my name.
"By the way, in return for your signature, I will continue to cook for you while we are living together."
with this treaty, this day is really tight. In the first few days, I felt that everything I did was bound. Besides, I continued to wander outside looking for a place to eat. Hum, you think I'll be grateful for cooking for me? Go to beauty! I won't eat your food for a month, see if I will starve to death! Alas, that's the way it is, but every time I wander around, I still envy the smell of other people's food.
nothing happened for a week.
one day when I came in, she was just about to go out.
"out?" I pretended to ask casually, but I didn't like her going out so late and wearing perfume. "Yes, the bell said to introduce a friend to me tonight. Look at the clothes I just bought today, not bad? " She stood in front of the mirror and studied herself carefully.
"Yes, it's good. It's the best way to catch a fool." A fool can tell that what I said is not good.
"you!" Her face began to show disgust for me again. Just, instead, she smiled hypocritically.
"Yes, anyway, I'm single now. Even if I'm fishing for an idiot, and I don't have an IPOD in my hand now, I still have this right. There will always be people who cherish me. You are not young, and you should consider your own happiness. " She glared at me.
"Then I wish you a big fool tonight! If someone gives you a villa, you can borrow it for two days. " "Hey, talk how so sour? You're not watching me go out and be jealous, are you? " She ha ha laugh.
"Come on, come on, don't stand there and get in my eyes!" I opened the door for her conveniently. She squinted at me and went out. When I went out, I even gave me a "hum". I slammed the door.
There were no eyesore, so I started chatting with my sister online. The day before yesterday, I bought a set of Pisces from, which is specially designed to prevent screen monitoring, keyboard and mouse records, chat records from being peeked, etc. With that, I feel much more at ease. Finally nobody cares about surfing the Internet, hehe. Why are you so upset? Am I really jealous? Haha, I began to laugh at myself. Why do you think so? But I offered to divorce!
about two hours later, she came back. Moreover, when I walked in front of me, I saw that her face was very poor. She went straight back to her bedroom and didn't even come out to take a shower.
when she came back in a bad mood, I was in a good mood. Hey, hey, you deserve to go out, and I fell asleep happily.
in the middle of the night, I was awakened by her scream. Just remembered to see what was going on, I saw her rushing out in her pajamas, jumping on the sofa and holding my neck trembling. "What's the matter?" I patted her on the back and asked. "Cockroach ..." As soon as she said these two words, I understood. Although this woman is very fierce to me, she is naturally afraid of small animals, such as cockroaches, mice, cats, dogs, etc. Every time she appears, she screams for a long time, which makes me always want to get a puppy to raise.
"Be good, don't be afraid." I comforted her as usual and went into the room to wipe her out. Looking around the room for a long time, I found no trace of cockroaches and had to come back.
as soon as I sat on the sofa, she put her arms around my neck again. "Did you kill him?" Tears were scared out of her face, but in the dim light of night, she felt like a pear flower with rain. "Well, I killed him. Don't be afraid, go back to sleep, everyone will go to work tomorrow. " I lied to her. Because I know that if I don't say I didn't find it, I will be forced by her to look for it again. Then I don't expect to sleep. "I'm afraid, I won't go back to sleep."
"You forget that we are divorced. Besides, you also broke the second of the three chapters of our agreement. You touched my body first. " My tone is cold, hum, I told you to go out fishing for fools at night, and you didn't think of me until you saw cockroaches. When she heard my words, she paused, bit her lip and said "I'm sorry" and ran back to the room. There was another slam of the door.
I sat for a long time and suddenly gave myself a big mouth.
I slept on the sofa, but I was not sleepy at all. Vaguely, her crying voice came from the room. Go in or not? I hesitated, and I gave myself a big mouth. If it was a man, I would go in!
I opened the door of the room and saw her crying under the quilt. I sat by the bed, pulled the quilt away and asked her softly what happened. To tell you the truth, I was really distressed when I saw the tears on her face.
"What are you doing in here? Aren't we divorced? I don't want you to care about me! Get out, get out! " She screamed hysterically at me and picked up a pillow to hit me. "I'm sorry, I said something wrong just now. Will you forgive me?" I don't care what she is because of, I still insist on holding her in my arms and gently kissing the tears on her face. She stopped growling at me, hugged my neck and began to cry endlessly.
finally, she cried and said what made her unhappy tonight. It turned out that the man introduced to her by her broken sister, A Ling, turned out to be an old man in Taiwan Province, and it didn't take long for her to sit down and start her hands. A Ling even advised her that you are divorced anyway, so you'll just have to follow the old man. "I'm divorced, is it shorter than others? Why do we want a divorce? " She cried and asked me, while pinching my neck.
I can't answer her question because I don't know the answer myself. Although her neck hurts, pinch it. Anyway, it won't kill me. I won't live together anymore, and there is no chance to be pinched by her.
finally, we were all tired and fell asleep with each other.
when I woke up, the sun had already come out. I still hold her, and she still holds my neck.
I dare not move, for fear that I might surprise her dream. It seems that I haven't felt this way for many years. The longer two people spend together, the less they feel when they wake up in the morning. Think about the old days, we almost all woke up in a hurry, complaining about each other and packing up for work. Between us, why did we come to this step today? What's the reason?
she's awake, too.
after waking up, she suddenly realized something, released her hand around my neck, and her face was a little shy. "Good morning!"
I also hurriedly released the hand holding her and hurried out of bed.
"Last night ..."
"Nothing happened last night. Get up and wash up quickly, or you will be late for work."
after this night, I feel that our relationship has also undergone subtle changes. When I got off work, I saw a seller of Begonia Cake on the roadside, and I remembered that it was a specialty of her hometown, so I bought some casually. It's just that after buying it, I don't know whether I should go home now or hang around and kill time as before.
"Sir, this thing tastes best when it is fresh, but it doesn't taste good after a long time." The peddler took special care of me when I was looking for money.
I crustily skin of head and went home. She was cooking.
"hmm ... hmm, I bought you a crab apple cake. I just saw it when I got off work. " I explained falteringly to her busy in the kitchen.
She came out happily, picked up a piece and began to eat. "Go and wash your hands, the food is ready."
facing the food on the table, my heart is sour.
Counting the days, I have been living outside for more than twenty days. The food she cooked is really delicious.
"eat."
I picked up the chopsticks.
...
"Eat slowly and don't choke. Come, have a bowl of soup. " She served me a bowl of soup.
"This dish is quite fresh. Have a piece." She gave me a pair of chopsticks.
"You've lost a lot of weight recently. Don't eat out in the future. It's expensive and nutritious. Come home and eat."
......
After eating, I scrambled to clean up.
"Forget it, I've been married for so long, and I haven't seen you clean up. I'd better come."
"I ..."
"Nothing, I'm used to it, too. Go watch TV, and I'll pack it up in a minute. "
I made myself a cup of tea and another for her.
after washing, she sat down beside me. I quickly brought the brewed water over. "What program do you want to watch?" I asked her with the remote control.
"Why are you so polite today? I am so polite that I am not used to it. " She giggled.
I feel my head shyly. "I used to be very bad?"
"bad? Nobody says you are bad, but you are lazy. Now that we are divorced, you forget to wash your own clothes. You don't want to think, the stock market, the clean clothes every day, who washed them for you? In the future, you must learn to take care of yourself! "
"Divorce ... Yes, we are divorced." I silently stopped talking. Men have become the whole sky of women;
she also fell silent.
that night, we sat together and watched TV for three hours. We didn't talk or change the channel, but I didn't remember what I watched. Thirty days will come soon. This day, after dinner, she told me that she had found a house and could move on Sunday. My heart immediately became very empty.
Saturday will come soon, and I will sit on the sofa and watch her come and go packing.
the room looks messy, but the air feels still. We didn't talk. What will she leave behind? I suddenly want to know. But, I didn't ask.
"you pack up slowly, and I'll go out for a walk." I walked out of the door before she could answer.
The sky outside is very blue, much like the day when I flew a kite three years ago. The sunshine outside is very light. Did it warm us three years ago? There are many lovers outside the house, and we have gone through three years so sweetly ...
"Mom, uncle is crying." A child around me cried.
I wiped my eyes and managed to smile.
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