Are there any famous international jokes in history?

Of course, Amway will visit Shinzo Abe.

Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe is definitely a strange person. He often plays some jokes on himself. Teacher Brain Hole is here to take stock for everyone.

1 June. 20 13, Tokyo, Japan, Shinzo Abe met with representatives of Japanese enterprises at the New Year reception. As a result, when I was chatting with Akio Toyoda, president of Toyota Motor Corporation, I suddenly lifted my pants.

It's a good thing that your pants are loose, which means you've lost weight again, but can you go to the bathroom and mention it again? Or will you not lose your chest in the first place?

In 2.20 12, Shinzo Abe became prime minister and received a congratulatory phone call from Obama. Abe is very happy. America is the day of Japan. The president of the United States called him, and he felt a sense of existence, so he immediately called a meeting and announced this important good news:

Just now, President Bush and I spoke on the phone.

Stop.

What bush? Bush has been fired for years. He's Obama. You can't tell an innocent man from a black man. I should stop calling you.

Mr Abe, what exactly did you say to make people stand there and carry them out?

On April 2013, Shinzo Abe presented the prize to the sumo wrestlers in Rima, Yokozuna. Come on, lift the trophy.

As soon as the trophy came up, Abe almost cried. Maybe he really cried. Anyway, he didn't cry, and his face was full of this expression. You can't see it.

If I had known it was so heavy, I wouldn't have been conspicuous, and I had to glue my hair on.

I'm up!

Ouch, waist! Waist!

I almost fainted, thanks to someone helping me.

5.

Shinzo Abe visited Australia and took a group photo with Australian Prime Minister Abbott in front of a big tire. Why does this photo look so strange?

In addition, by the way, the Australian Prime Minister publicly proclaimed his admiration for the Japanese army in World War II. Maybe his ancestors were beaten by the Japanese. When Australia surrendered in World War II, it was the most determined to liquidate Japanese militarism and try Emperor Hirohito of Japan. People have changed as time goes by.

6.

Everyone is familiar with this photo. Abe went to attend Lee Kuan Yew's funeral and fell asleep at the state funeral.

That's understandable. After all, Abe works hard and may work overtime at night. However, the Japanese people were very angry and said: "Abe will feel sleepy even if he wakes up. I hope he can cheer up. If there is no mourning for Mr. Lee Kuan Yew, why do you want to go to Singapore? "

What does Abe mean by wanting to sleep even when he wakes up? I just don't have rich facial expressions. Continuous shooting will always be like continuous shooting. Can you Japanese respect your leaders?

A netizen from Tokyo said: "Japanese politicians can work even when they are asleep. Foreigners can watch the live broadcast of parliamentary meetings. "

(Daily meeting of the Japanese Parliament)

The brain hole teacher wants to say that the world is actually the same.

7. This is a big hit. Abe and his wife visited Ukraine, and Ukrainian President poroshenko personally greeted them. When he finished, he was invited to March. Shinzo Abe DUANG his place and stood beside Mrs. poroshenko, with a straight body and a calm face. The scenery here is very good.

The Ukrainian President's wife must have 10,000 horses running by, but Mrs. Abe is still sprouting and is quite curious about her husband's position. Poroshenko just resigned.

This is not your position. Poroshenko motioned. Abel didn't move like a mountain.

Poroshenko had to do it. Abe clenched his fist and made a clear statement. The head can be broken, the blood can flow, and you can't change places by the way. The Ukrainian lady is still standing demurely, but her eyes have betrayed her inner dissatisfaction. The Japanese lady stood at the farthest end, her mouth upturned, and she was extremely puzzled and dissatisfied with her husband's behavior.

Poroshenko began to reason, and the Ukrainian lady breathed a sigh of relief. The Japanese lady was bound by the traditional husband procedure and was angry and funny about her husband's behavior. Abe smiled, clenched his fists and leaned to the left, as if he wanted to get away with it.

A Ukrainian guard came. Be sure to make a big picture, look at the expression!

Finally, Miss Ukraine gave her husband a favorable look, and Miss Japan thought it was time to buy a durian when she returned to China.

Say one thing about Premier Zhou Enlai, it can be said that the situation faced by Premier Zhou Enlai at that time was a little provocative, but Zhou Enlai solved the embarrassment with his personal charm and wit. At the same time, he won the respect of the world.

As a result, Zhou Enlai answered him humorously, because China took the Marxist road, so our road was called the road.

This answer received thunderous applause from the scene.

As a result, Zhou Enlai said with a smile, "Speaking of this competition, there are many things to watch. This is the trophy of our army to resist US aggression and aid Korea, and it was a souvenir left to me by the Korean people at that time. "

Of course, this kind of thing is also a joke.

1. Kissinger had a stomachache before his visit to China.

In the early 1970s, US Secretary of State Dr. Kissinger visited Pakistan. Pakistani Prime Minister gave a banquet in honor of Kissinger. Suddenly, Kissinger was clutching his stomach and his expression was extremely painful. He shouted a stomachache and left the banquet hall. An hour later, Kissinger had boarded a Pakistani airliner flying to China. He is the first American to visit China since the founding of New China.

The "table tennis diplomacy" between China and the United States has enabled two great countries in the world to start an era of win-win cooperation. Kissinger contributed a lot.

Premier Zhou said with a smile: "This is a gift from a North Korean friend when I visited North Korea. I began to resolutely refuse, my friend said, this is a trophy captured by the US military during the Korean War, and I will give it to you as a souvenir. I accepted it. "

Foreign Minister Chen Yi smiled and said, "Thank you for your question. We shot down the American u-2 plane with bamboo poles. "

Amin molested the Queen of England!

Former Ugandan President Idi Amin is one of the three famous tyrants in Africa. He is notoriously cruel! Once, Amin's wife had an affair. After Amin knew it, he directly cooked his wife and man and ate them. Under the rule of such a tyrant, Uganda immediately fell into chaos and darkness.

During Amin's rule in Uganda, he successively slaughtered the Acholi and Rangi tribes in China, totaling nearly 300,000 people, and drove more than 70,000 Asians out of Uganda, even to the point where he directly called for the elimination of all Jews at the United Nations General Assembly. ......

But these are not Amin's most proud works. His most "brilliant" feat turned out to be to openly propose to his supreme queen, Queen Elizabeth of England!

Yes, that's right. Amin played a big international joke on the whole world and made Britain sick. Even on the birthday of the Queen of England, Amin directly asked the Queen for Nene as a gift. This unreasonable and disgusting request instantly angered the whole of Britain. Shamed and angry, Britain had planned to assassinate Amin, but it was not implemented for various reasons. ......

Although the Queen of England who has been on standby for a long time has lived so much, it is probably the first time to encounter such an unbearable thing. It is disgusting for ordinary people to make such a request internally, not to mention it is related to the relations between the two countries. Amin's sudden and frank courtship really made Britain and the whole world laugh and cry!

In fact, not only Amin, but also some African countries make international jokes about the world from time to time. Another example is Gambia, which is bigger than South Korea, the largest country in the universe, and is the only country in the world that has declared war on the P5. We only have 1,000 elite troops, but we have the domineering power to sweep the five great powers, which is extremely rare in human civilization!

Churchill and Roosevelt:

British Prime Minister Churchill has a habit of wandering around the room naked after taking a shower. During World War II, Churchill was invited to visit the United States and stay in the White House. On this day, Churchill took a bath and paced up and down the room naked as usual. Suddenly, the door rang. Churchill was thinking about this problem, so he subconsciously said, "Come in!"

Fortunately, it was American President Roosevelt who came in, not the beautiful waitress in the White House. However, the scene was still awkward for a while. Just when Roosevelt wanted to turn around and quit, Churchill tactfully said, "Come in, Mr. President, there is no need for the British Prime Minister to hide anything from the American President!" It is said that Roosevelt was overjoyed after hearing this, and then provided a lot of assistance to Britain, which was about to be short of money.

I don't know which one of them spread the story, but it has been known by people all over the world!

However, what Churchill said at that time did have some truth.

After the full-scale outbreak of World War II, Germany and Britain began to have conflicts at sea. Because the German navy was weak, it began to launch an asymmetric campaign against Britain. In order to avoid the British navy, the Germans attacked British merchant ships in the Atlantic Ocean and built submarines, which made the sparsely populated and barren British Isles fall into famine soon!

By the summer of 194 1, although Britain still has the ability to import materials from overseas, it is expected to last only half a year. So British Prime Minister Churchill kept asking Roosevelt for help, hoping to get help!

Roosevelt was not a teenager who scattered his wealth, and what he did was for the benefit of the United States. So Churchill's help was often lip service, and finally Churchill was forced to show his cards to Roosevelt. If America doesn't help him again, Britain will be forced to surrender to Germany at the end of 194 1!

(German submarine cruises in the Atlantic Ocean)

For Roosevelt, it is obviously not in the interest of the United States for Britain to surrender, but it is also not in the interest of the United States to provide assistance to Britain in vain. Therefore, while providing dozens of second-hand destroyers to ensure that the Atlantic route would not be completely cut off by German submarines, Roosevelt proposed that these warships were not free and needed the British to exchange naval bases all over the Atlantic.

The reason why the British Empire can become the modern maritime hegemon is inseparable from the fact that it gained the control of the route by controlling the islands in the ocean. Roosevelt's request is tantamount to forcing Churchill to sign an alliance at the gates and hand over control of the Atlantic Ocean!

For example, many islands in the Atlantic Ocean are leased to the United States as military bases. Later, many islands such as Newfoundland, Bermuda, Jamaica and Bahamas were leased or even provided to the United States for free!

Compared with the safety of the whole British Isles, Churchill had to reluctantly give up what one favours. Although Churchill's decision on behalf of the British government was an unprecedented unequal deal for Britain, it was of great significance to save the whole British empire.

However, in front of the United States, Britain is equivalent to taking off underwear!

I remember when I was in junior high school, the teacher told a joke.

After successfully landing on the moon, an American delegation visited China and presented a gift to Premier Zhou: lunar soil. I mean, you see how powerful America is. We can take away all the soil on the moon. The prime minister smiled and collected the soil, and then returned a bergamot to the American delegation.

Do you know why you want to return bergamot? )

I think international jokes may be true or false, so everyone laughs.

Joke 1: During the pilgrimage, Huawei's China communication engineer in Saudi Arabia was informed that the baseline of Mecca was out of order and needed urgent maintenance and repair. However, since Mecca is the holy city of Islam, non-Muslims are not allowed to enter during the pilgrimage. Engineers are as anxious as ants on hot bricks. After repeated weighing, he decided to convert to the line of fire, holding the Koran in one hand and communication knowledge in the other to enter Mecca to maintain the base station.

Joke 2: Huawei's representative office in southern Africa has finally won the largest local operator customer, and is preparing to organize personnel to build base stations on a large scale. Unfortunately, the civil war broke out and the country was divided into government forces and rebels. After completing the construction of base stations in government-occupied areas, Huawei engineers faced difficulties in rebel-occupied areas separated by water. The final delivery date is coming, and there is really no way out. Bite your teeth and enter the rebel-occupied area with your equipment. Unexpectedly, the rebels warmly welcomed the arrival of Huawei engineers, and sent teams to learn the maintenance knowledge of communication base stations and actively cooperated with the construction of base stations. Finally, because the work efficiency was greatly improved during the rebel-occupied area, the delivery task was completed ahead of schedule, which was also well received by local operators.

Joke 3: Huawei's account manager in Iraq suddenly received a customer complaint email one day, signed by the person in charge of Al Qaeda. The other party said that the communication quality was greatly affected because the Huawei base was not maintained for many years. If it was not maintained, it would be bombed.

197 1 year 1 month 18, Soviet agents reported to the supreme head of the Soviet union that China had developed a grain amplifier. It can expand one liter of grain to ten cubic liters. The supreme leader instructed to get the grain amplifier at all costs.

In the same month, the United States also obtained top secret information about grain expander. The President of the United States instructed CIA agents to steal food amplifiers in China.

A group of Soviet and American agents came and were arrested. But Taiwan Province Province turned to Chiang Kai-shek for help, and Chiang Kai-shek sent ace agents to the mainland to steal food enlargers.

Through mainland insiders, a grain amplifier was brought to the United States, and the president and think tank of the United States could not figure out how to expand grain. Please ask Chiang Kai-shek to study it. Chiang Kai-shek looked at it: What kind of grain magnifying machine is this rice blasting machine?

Hello, everyone. I study history. Speaking of international jokes, there are quite a few India next door. Listen to me.

First of all, the foreign minister took the wrong speech.

On 20 1 1 February11day, the UN Security Council "Maintaining International Peace and Security" invited representatives from all countries to speak. 78-year-old Indian Foreign Minister Krishna took the stage to speak after Portuguese Foreign Minister Luis Amado.

I saw the energetic Indian Foreign Minister read aloud: "I am deeply gratified that there are just two Portuguese-speaking member countries Brazil and Portugal present today."

The representatives of the following United Nations Member States were dumbfounded for a moment. This word is so familiar!

Suddenly, the Indian Foreign Minister went on to say, "We in the EU also appreciate our cooperation with the United Nations."

At this time, someone at the scene found something wrong. India, far away in South Asia, has nothing to do with the EU.

But strangely, the representative of India to the United Nations sat under the podium and listened for three minutes before realizing that something was wrong. After the news reached India, Indian political circles and media were in an uproar, accusing Indian diplomatic institutions of incompetence and bring disgrace to oneself in the international political arena.

Second, complaining that Chinese drones violated airspace, it turned out to be Venus and Jupiter.

In the border area between China and India, disputes between the two sides continue, but India has never taken advantage of it, so it bears a grudge and intends to record the stone hammer so that the international community can sue.

According to the Telegraph in Kolkata, India, from August 20 13 to February 20 14, Indian troops stationed in the border area between China and India recorded as many as 329 UFO incidents. The Telegraph quoted military sources as saying that UFOs crossed the actual control line 155 times.

The Indian side insisted that it must be China's unmanned reconnaissance plane, and protested and negotiated with China.

China is also very confused. Obviously, it was not released. Even if the time is released, it is not right. Of course not.

Therefore, the Indian army cooperated with the deployment of a series of mobile radars and spectrum analyzers with independent intellectual property rights, thinking that this drone flies too high, which is not easy to observe and shoot down.

Later, experts from the Indian Institute of Astrophysics also came forward. Experts said after investigation that this is obviously Jupiter and Venus!

When the British knew about it, they immediately hit people when they were down. India's "feat" of shooting down Jupiter and Venus immediately spread to BBC all over the world.

3200 Indian special forces vs 10 terrorists

20081October 26th 2 1 1 30, 10 Armed terrorists broke into taj mahal hotel, the most famous five-star hotel in Mumbai. They shot at everyone and threw grenades everywhere. Almost at the same time, nine places, such as Oberoi Hotel, nariman Building where Jews live, a big market and CST Railway Station with the busiest traffic, were also attacked by terrorists.

Although the Mumbai police responded quite quickly, they were no match for terrorists at all. Vijai Salashka is an expert in the confrontation with Mumbai police. He was killed in the crossfire. Hemmant Kakkar, head of the anti-terrorism department of Mumbai police, was also reported to have died of gunshot wounds.

It was not until 23 o'clock in the evening that the Indian government decided to send land, sea and air commandos and more than 200 commandos to Mumbai by plane, but for some reason, it was not until the next day that the commandos arrived in Mumbai and began to wipe out ten terrorists.

However, it was these ten terrorists who actually competed with the Mumbai police and the Indian army to 10 on the 29th.

Terrorists attacked Mumbai for nearly 60 hours, killing 195 people and injuring 295 others.

The poor combat effectiveness of the Indian army surprised people all over the world. After the Mumbai attacks subsided, the government's poor handling of the crisis caused dissatisfaction among the Indian people. 165438+1On October 30th, Indian Interior Minister patil forced him to submit his resignation.

As for India, there are even more jokes. Every day, it crashes, and tanks and planes have been built for 30 years, and Brownian motion missiles. . . Not to mention.

During World War II, Italians used it for fun. I'm afraid no international joke is funnier than Italy in World War II.

Not to mention Italy's weak combat effectiveness, let's take a look at the stupid things Italy has done! I know Italy was just a water of joy in World War II. Send a little joy to the ruthless World War II.

1, the Italian army could not find a suitable warehouse for storing explosives, so it thought that the church would not be attacked by enemy air, so it piled more than 100 tons of explosives into the Sannazzaro church in the city center. As a result ... the church steeple was struck by lightning, and the city was instantly destroyed by the big bang. ...

2. Italy invaded Ethiopia and fought Ethiopia with modern weapons. The troops carrying spears and guns were defeated and returned to their hometown. Therefore, the French put up a sign on the Italian border, which read: Please note that this is France. Laugh at Italy.

The main battlefield of Italy in World War II was in North Africa. In a battle, several British tanks charged at Italian anti-tank gun positions. At first, Italy organized a counterattack, but after two or three minutes, the gunfire suddenly stopped and Italy waved a white flag and surrendered! After the war, the British asked why, and the Italian confidently replied, "I forgot to bring a crowbar. The ammunition box can't be opened without a crowbar!" At that time, the British were speechless.

4.1On June 30th, 940, the Italian Governor in Libya, Marshal Barbo, was shot down by Italy's own anti-aircraft gun while flying over the bloody sand. In order to cover up this tragic fact, the Italians announced that the marshal was killed in an air battle with the British army. Well, it can be said that Marshal Barba's good reputation has been preserved.

Killed his marshal by mistake with an anti-aircraft gun, making Marshal Barbo the highest-ranking soldier killed by mistake in World War II. ...

It is particularly worth mentioning that the British army destroyed the Italian army with more than 400 tanks with less than 30 tanks. When 30,000 British soldiers faced 400,000 Italian soldiers, the British captured "about 5 acres of officers and 200 acres of soldiers" ...

There are many interesting stories about Italy! And Italy has indeed become a rare water of joy in the Cold War and World War II. Just pit teammates, Germans.